Kyon: Maiden Voyage
by Miz-KTakase
Summary: Kyon is about to experience the Maiden Universe, in the most bizarre way. In its 13th story, Haruhi Suzumiya orders a Maiden for Hire that resembles Mikuru, which has many ways to make and break Haruhi and Kyon. But it gets weird, knowing Haruhi, since it could cause a rift between both SOS Brigade members, but the Mikuru Maiden is something special. Rated T for sexual situations.
1. Chapter 1

It all started when a young girl ordered online. She typed in _"Custom" _order. She then typed in the measurements, matching one of her students. She let out a giggle and typed in _"Send_".

The message shown:  
><em>Thank you for purchasing at Maidens for Hire, Ms. Suzumiya.<em>

It was Haruhi Suzumiya, herself. She let out a smile and gigged, "Cool! Now I can have a Maiden for Hire, just to help the SOS Brigade!"

She then cheered, "This is going to be awesome! I cannot wait to tell Yuki and Koizumi!"

* * *

><p><em>My name is Kyon, as others call me by. You're not going to believe the time I had with a very interesting girl. And if you know who it is, well, I say "Congratulations".<br>Anyway, it happened, one day, while I was busy in my seat, inside Haruhi's clubroom, __as usual__, and was beginning to enjoy the boring days… since it has become peaceful. But then, SHE came…_

Haruhi cheered, as she stepped in, "Good morning!"

Kyon was startled, as Yuki Nagato was unaffected, since she was reading a book. He asked her, "Why are you more chipper than usual?"

"Shut up, Kyon. I'm beginning to prepare for the newest addition to the SOS Brigade: _automation_!"

"Automation? We already have that… By that, I mean your computers and laptops that you _stole, _but fairly, since you won a bet (Not)."

"That's obsolete. But I am not giving these up! They are here to stay! Why do you think I started the SOS Brigade website?"

She winked, "NO! This calls for a brand-new device to the school! _And _I had permission from my homeroom teacher to bring her in."

"Her? What are you talking about?"

Haruhi whispered, "Uh… I think it's best we keep it as a surprise for Mikuru, Koizumi, and Yuki. Let's speak out back."

Kyon sighed, "Just tell me. They'll know, eventually…"

**XXXXX**

At the hallway, they started to chat, as Haruhi explained to Kyon that she's bringing in a Maiden for Hire to school.

"A WHAT?" He cried, "Are you insane? We already have a maid!"

"Mikuru is _not _a maid! She's a member, in which she wears LOTS of costumes!" Haruhi insisted.

Kyon then thought, "Oh, right… On the plus side, she _does _look cute in them."

He then scolded, "But having a Maiden into our school is ridiculous. What would people think about this matter?"

"Relax! She'll only stay in the school's building, right here. She's an honorary member, but for only 2,500 Yen a month!"

"THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY!"

He said, "Uh, I thought the Maidens are about 2,000 Yen. Don't tell me you bought a _Custom Model._"

"I did."

"I had to ask."

"It's okay. It won't be like you, and it won't be like me. I had her made in the exact attributes that matches the lovely Mikuru Asahina!"

Kyon blushed and smiled, "Oh, what a relief. For a second there, I thought-."

"WAIT! WHAT? YOU MEAN YOU CREATED A-?"

She covered his mouth and smiled, as Mikuru arrived, "Uh, what's going on?"

"Oh, Hey, Mikuru!" She nervously giggled, "How's it going?"

"What's this about _creation_?"

"Oh, Kyon and I created a new game. Well, uh, explain it to you, later! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha…"

She whispered to Kyon, "If you, so much, breathe a word to her about the Maiden for Hire, I _will _make you suffer, from years to come."

Kyon nodded, "Better not to ruin it, in front of Mikuru Prime."

She chopped his head and scolded, "What the heck is _Mikuru Prime_? She's not a Transformer!"

Kyon thought, "_I know she's not… She's a time traveler._"

He smiled, "Uh, Haruhi has a surprise for all of us. Say, er, Haruhi, when _is _the surprise?"

She bonked his head and yelled, "STUPID! NOT YET!"

_She is fierce, when it comes to surprises. She loves to keep secrets from her friends, even if they are different. And here I thought the Maiden for Hire would be either charming as Tsuruya, calm like Nagato, or scary as Ryoko Asakura. But I'm glad she told me, in advance. Mikuru Maiden is a dream come true… well, for Haruhi, of course._

* * *

><p><em>That's pretty much how it went. My days had become weird, since Haruhi Suzumiya purchased a Maiden for Hire (Custom-made, to look like Mikuru). This, however, sets up what was declared the <em>_weirdest__ month of my life, as the Maiden becomes no __ordinary__ robot maid.  
>Because, folks… I tell you… The Maiden came, and it changed forever, the fabric of time for me.<em>

_Well, not exactly, but… anyway, see for yourself, and prove me wrong._

* * *

><p><em><strong>Maiden Universe in:<br>Kyon: Maiden Voyage  
>(Maiden Universe Story #13)<strong>_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 1<strong>_

* * *

><p><em>Haruhi got her Maiden for Hire, the next week. It was a rush order. Haruhi opened her Maiden up, out of her box and began to do what she ALWAYS does: fondle at her big breasts, like before, when she first met Mikuru.<em>

"NO WAY! This is awesome! She has the same girth as Mikuru!" She cheered, "I would be pissed, but lucky for me, these are _fake_ boobs. So real, yet synthetic!"

Kyon was there, as he sighed, "Why did you bring me here?"

_Did I mention that the Maiden looked like Mikuru, straight down to her long flowing strawberry hair? But you get the idea. Coincidence? Yeah, right…_

The Maiden that Haruhi bought had long hair and a cute face, with big breasts, much like Mikuru. She was wearing a black and magenta maid uniform, with grey and white frills.

"Hey, Kyon," she asked, "Now that we're here, we can turn her on. Where's the ON button on her?"

Kyon held up the instructions and said, "Read this. This'll help."

He thought, smugly, "It won't last. The minute she gets bored by it… BOOM! No more robot Mikuru; although, I _am _skeptical about her."

He read the instructions:  
><em>"Congratulations on your new Maiden for Hire. She is here for your guaranteed service – cooking, cleaning, and anything your heart's desire. To activate your new Maiden, Step one: plug her in – Step two: stand her straight – Step three: press her button, on the back of her neck."<em>

Haruhi set her up, as she pouted, "Man… This is pathetic. What ridiculous, yet boring rules. Maybe someone would bring the new Maiden in, all turned on."

"Just don't get caught in her _Pleasure Mode_."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. It's not for kids, you know."

"I'm aware of that! Besides, my parents offered me permission to get one."

_Does Haruhi even have parents?_

She continued, "It's all good. We plug her in and watch the magic of a hot, young, and cute Mikuru Asahina robot! HEY! Maybe we should use her, as an evil twin for the sequel."

"WHAT? Why bring that up?"

"Shut up, Kyon."

She then sighed, "Well, enough going around the bush. Let's fire up the _new _Mikuru!"

"SHE'S A ROBOT!"

Haruhi plugged her in, "Plugging in – Check!"

She stood her straight, "Stand in attention – Check!"

She brushed the back of her hair and said, "Now… As my finger slowly approaches, what will happen next?"

"Just press it," he sighed.

But Haruhi was nervous. Would she fear that it may explode? She knew that this the first time she saw a Maiden for Hire, up-close. But having to own one was hard.  
><em>Not if you're Haruhi Suzumiya, of course.<em>

Kyon grabbed her wrist and pressed the button with her hand. The Maiden started to shake and whir.

"Kyon! What are you doing?" Haruhi yelled, "_I _was gonna press it!"

Kyon cried, "You were taking too long! I couldn't wait!"

"Do you even have a crush on _my _Maiden?"

She opened her LED brown eyes and smiled.

"Where do you get off, saying I'm a robo-fetish?"

"Hey, that's what I should call you! _Just kidding~!_"

Kyon growled, "What is wrong with you?"

Haruhi yelled, "Please let me enjoy my Maiden for Hire… in peace!"

Kyon sighed, "She's all yours."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"If you want her, go ahead. It's _your _money! But don't come to me, if she breaks."

"I'll be careful. The repairs are all FREE! I can take it!"

The Maiden turned to Kyon and Haruhi, who were still arguing. She scanned them both.

She scanned Kyon:  
><em>Unknown data… Please input…<em>

She then scanned Haruhi:  
><em>Name: Haruhi Suzumiya; status: User of Maiden Unit #M15878 – Mikuru Model<em>

Haruhi growled, "You want a piece of me? I am handy at Maidens! You, however, tend to (BEEP) and go (BEEP) on her!"

Kyon cried, "Oh, yeah?"

They growled, as the Mikuru Maiden bowed, "Excuse me… Are you done?"

They turned around and saw the Maiden, with her hair waving and her body energetic.

"Hello! You must be Haruhi Suzumiya! I am your Maiden for Hire, Mikuru!" She spoke, with a deeper tone than Mikuru's.

Haruhi blushed, "No way… You're… You're…"

She clamped her breasts and shouted, "YOU'RE SO LUCKY!"

The Maiden moaned a bit, but then growled. She grabbed her wrist and scolded, "Hands off! I am a Maiden for Hire, for guaranteed service; NOT your sex toy! You must learn to keep you Maiden intact, without _any sexual guidance. _Plus, you are only 17."

Haruhi sighed, "Aw, man… But I loved your breasts. They reminded me of another girl I know."

The Maiden scolded, "That's _still _no excuse. I am here for your cooking and cleaning needs. _Anything _at all, you name it – other than _that_."

Kyon chuckled, "Looks like she's getting what she deserves."

"Aw, you're no fun!" Haruhi yelled, "You're _not _like what I imagined!"

"No, I _am _what I am. I don't do _Pleasure Mode_ to underage users. But, if you want, show me a young boy to try out."

Haruhi then smirked at Kyon and introduced him to her robot, "This is Kyon. Have fun with him."

"Kyon?" She thought, "Pyon? Pyon? Gyon? Nyron?"

She shook a bit and thought, "Is that his name?"

Kyon then replied, "Uh, actually, it's more of a-."

She pointed at him and declared, "YOU! _Error! Kyon does not compute! _From this day forward, as Haruhi's Maiden for Hire, I shall call you…"

She shook, "Call you… Call you… BZZT! Call you… BZZT! Call you…"

Haruhi cried, "AW! Now she's broken already! You broke her, Kyon!"

"ME?" He cried, "I didn't do anything!"

She spoke too soon. The Maiden rebooted and declared, "This man shall be called… Kyon!"

Kyon growled, "What made her changed her mind?"

Haruhi giggled, "_Kyon _it is! The Maiden must've chosen your name for you."

He yelled, "WHAT DID I SAY?"

Haruhi smirked, "You want a piece of me?"

The Maiden broke them up and declared, "Now, now… Miss Haruhi and Mister Kyon-Kun…"

"_Kyon-Kun_?"

She escorted Kyon out and said, "There's no need to fight. After all, you two have school tomorrow. I think you should go soon."

Kyon asked, "Uh, any reason why you-?"

**SLAM!**

"Ow…"

The Maiden bowed, "Now that he's gone, let us begin. I had the okay with your teacher and parents, so I shall come to school, real soon. Name the day."

"How's tomorrow? I want the others to get to know you better. Wait until you see _Old _Mikuru. As of this moment, you shall be _NEW _Mikuru!"

"Call me, Mikuru, master."

She hugged her and said, as she planted her face in her chest, "This will be magical. Miss Suzumiya… Thank you for owning me, for I must do what I can."

She threw her down to the floor and cheered in glee, "But first, how about a tasty dinner, to begin? Gotta clean the dishes first, before we begin our duties."

She pranced off, as Haruhi was in pain, with a lump on her head.

"Boy… New Mikuru seemed to be very forceful."

* * *

><p><em>Something tells me that Haruhi doesn't know the first thing about Maidens for Hire. Too bad she had to show the others, which led to the BIGGEST day of my life. For starters…<em>

* * *

><p><em><strong>To be continued…<strong>_


	2. Chapter 2

Haruhi introduced the Maiden and said, "This is Mikuru. Forgive me. _NEW _Mikuru! She'll be the SOS Brigade's first-ever Maiden for Hire mascot. In short, Mikuru, your services as mascot are no longer required!"

Mikuru giggled, "This means I am gone from the SOS Brigade?"

Haruhi sighed, "No."

Kyon sighed, "Why bring that up?"

"Easy, Kyon! This Maiden will replace Mikuru Asahina's maid services in the clubroom! If any questions, other than Kyon's, please don't hesitate to ask!"

Kyon cried, "NO WAY! I _don't _have a say?"

Koizumi whispered, "Hey, Kyon. Isn't it a bit weird?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm surprised that she made a Maiden of Miss Asahina."

"Yeah, I know. The sight of her is making Mikuru all pissed off."

And it did. She was completely jealous of the Maiden.

Mikuru yelled, "WHY? Why are you replacing me with a robot?"

Mikuru Robot spoke, "Please, calm down, my good Maiden…"

She sat down, as Kyon was concerned.

_So, in the end, Mikuru was __replaced__, by automation. I felt sorry for her. Of course, Haruhi can be tenacious, but the Maiden is too disciplined to stay within her levels of… well, craziness and stupidest wiles._

Koizumi said, "I guess we _now _have six Brigade members. Though, it _was _a shock to have a robot in the group, even though Miss Suzumiya doesn't know."

"Yeah, I tried reasoning with her, back then, but she just got pissed."

"That's what you get for saying it at her, face-to-face. Maybe she'll understand, one day. For now, it's too cute for a Maiden for Hire from Kyoto to come here."

"Kyoto?"

"I kind of looked at the back of her. Her tag said: _Made in Kyoto_."

"You got good hindsight."

Haruhi then ordered, as she presented a red bunny suit, "Here, New Mikuru! Wear this, and let's take a picture!"

Mikuru cried, "HEY! That's _my _bunny suit!"

Robot Mikuru shook her head and said, "Sorry. But we Maidens for Hire _always _wear these maid uniforms. We never wear anything else. We find other costumes and attires to be… aloof. We're _Maidens for Hire_, NOT ordinary mannequins."

Kyon thought, "That's the longest she said, up-to-date."

Haruhi giggled, "Oh, go on… Give it a shot. After that, I'll not ask you again."

The Maiden sighed, as she said, "Well… As long as it's only _once_… I agree to your bidding, since I cannot disobey my prime objective: _to give you ANYTHING you desire_."

She then asked, "Where's the changing room?"

Haruhi laughed, "WHAT Changing Room?"

Mikuru said, "I'll show her. We have a screen here, just for me to change into. I'll help you put it on, since it's very alluring. But I find it very disturbing."

Mikuru Maiden remarked, "Thank you, Human Mikuru."

She was insulted by the remark that she and the Maiden went in the screen. Koizumi and Kyon were a bit stunned.

"I guess twins can think alike." Koizumi smirked.

Kyon groaned, "It's rather disturbing…"

He looked at Yuki and asked, "Come to think of it, I wonder what Nagato thinks of the Maidens."

Mikuru cheered, "We're finished!"

The Maiden appeared, wearing Mikuru's red bunny suit.

"Where am I: Las Vegas?" Kyon thought.

Haruhi wore _her _black bunny suit and said, "GOOD! Old Mikuru, take a picture of us, please!"

Kyon gasped, "When did she wear that, so quickly?"

Mikuru held up a camera and asked, "Wait… Is there a reason?"

Haruhi smiled, "It's no problem. We pose sexy-like, and YOU take the picture. Just pretend that New Mikuru is you, Old Mikuru!"

Mikuru sighed, "I wish you didn't call me that."

She took the picture, as the Maiden and Haruhi posed together.

Kyon growled, "This is ridiculous. She's _not _supposed to be her toy."

Yuki then spoke, "_Maidens for Hire _tend to look like people, on occasions. They are the cutest android service in the world."

Kyon then asked, "Oh. So, do you _like _it, Nagato?"

Yuki said nothing.

…

She then replied, "No. They are a disgrace to my kind. _Maidens and Butlers for Hire _are what I call "Knock-offs"."

"So… You hate them?"

"If they _did _a Maiden of me, then I draw the line of their creativity. In my expert words, these robotic servants are stupid, as they say. What_ I _say… is that the Maidens and Butlers… are outrageous."

"Outrageous in a _bad _way or a _good _way?"

Koizumi responded, "I think Nagato has a thing for Maidens and Butlers, too."

Kyon thought, "But does she hate them? She _did _say yes…"

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 2<strong>_

* * *

><p><em>Things slowed down, after that. The Maiden was busy serving tea, since Miss Asahina was banned from doing so. I'm glad that the Maiden had become so helpful, even if Haruhi can touch her there and get an earful. But I shouldn't sit back and see her get humiliated… besides, I <em>_did__ have something about her, seeing that she's mysterious. Of course, the Maiden has been on the good side of Koizumi and Haruhi. Nagato and Miss Asahina are somewhat Maiden-haters. Me? Well, I'm not so sure…_

After school, Kyon was relaxing, as Mikuru Maiden rubbed his shoulders. She then giggled, "You must be tensed, Kyon-Kyon…"

He groaned, "Why the double name?"

"Kyon-Kyon… Kyon-Kyon…" she spoke and went into a loop.

_Rebooting…_

She bowed slightly for ten seconds and stood back up. She resumed rubbing his shoulders.

"Uh, are you okay?"

"I'm not used to your name. I'm just trying to process your data. I know Haruhi's name, Yukina's name…"

"Yukina?"

"Yuki Nagato. I gave her that nickname."

Yuki spoke, as she was still seated, "Please call me Yuki; or Nagato, if you're formal."

"Data received, Miss NagaYuki…" The robot winked.

_Is it just me, or is this Robo-Mikuru started to malfunction? She messes up and/or gave us pet names, leaving Haruhi's name, intact._

"Kyon-Kyon…" she giggled, "How about a nice foot rub?"

"Uh…" he blushed, "Shouldn't you be heading to Haruhi's home?"

Mikuru watched on, all fired-up in jealous.

"What is with you, today?" She yelled, "Why would you treat him, that robo-fetish?"

"I'm not a robo-fetish, Miss Asahina!" He cried.

She started to cry, "Oh, Kyon… I'm so sorry… Why would you be mean?"

She ran off, as Yuki mocked her, in her own tone.

"_Oh, why would you be so mean? _She is simply having jealousy towards the Maiden…"

Kyon gasped, "What?"

The Maiden scolded, "Shame on you! She was having problems adjusting to me!"

Yuki sighed and went back to reading.

"And _now _she ignores me… What am I, a sexy toy for Haruhi? I'll have you know that I am _not _a toy! You hear me, you woman?"

Yuki responded, "I never said that."

Kyon pleaded, "Please… No fighting, girls."

Yuki walked off and said to Kyon, "You make sure _not _to break her. Trust me… Save it for the month's end."

He said, "Right. Haruhi would have a field day on me, if I break Robot Mikuru."

Yuki replied, "No. I mean, wait and see, in one month…"

"Huh?"

She left, as Kyon thought, "Wait… What did she mean? Should something happen, after the month's rent?"

Haruhi cried, "KYON! WHY ARE YOU WITH THE MAIDEN?"

Kyon gasped, "OH! I, uh, it's not what you-."

She winked, "Aw, I'm just funning with you. I'm so glad that you and New Mikuru are getting along."

"Don't rub it in. She _is _programmed for service, but not sexually to you."

The Maiden responded, "He's right. I am NO L-Series Maiden. I'm a _Mark 5 Model_."

Haruhi insisted, "Okay… At least clean this place up."

She ran off, swiftly and fast, cleaning the room in less than 10 seconds. That's because it is so small.

"WHOA! Fast _and _hygienic!" She cheered.

Kyon sighed, "No. She's like a fast robot."

Haruhi then instructed, "Say, Kyon… I was thinking… How about I loan you the Maiden for Hire, during the weekend? You see, I tend to be distracted, during my weekend fun, since New Mikuru is so sexy that I am envious of her! So, please do that for me?"

She sobbed, "Plus, I think she's hostile!"

"Oh, Master Haruhi," Mikuru Robot spoke, "It'll be fine. For now, enjoy yourself. I shall not be with Kyon-Kyon, but if you insist, since you are loaning me to… to… to… uh…"

She bellowed, as she grasped her arm, "I know what you're up to! I will _not _you do that! No way on earth that I am being a toy to _him_!"

"Ow… Ow… Ow… Lemme go…"

The Maiden insisted, "If you think that he'll do that, then I guess so. But that's it! I am _solely _your Maiden for Hire."

She blushed, "Of course, I don't mind, if he was 18, _then _we have something to agree on."

Kyon snapped, "What are you, a drama-bot?"

Haruhi growled, "Oh, fine… But I _did _say that you can visit him. But there will be NO _Pleasure Mode _involved. Got it?"

Kyon sighed, "I know… I get it. Trust me, there won't be anything between me _and _her. I mean, face it… She's like Miss Asahina, but-."

Haruhi yelled cheerfully, "But if you're going to be that way, take her now! Just break her in, for the night!"

She ran off, as the Robot glared, "Darn it! I'm stuck with him!"

She then blushed, "Darn it… I'm stuck with him…"

She cried, "Darn it! Why did she leave me here?"

Kyon said, "She has something to do. I'll walk you to my place. But just no dating, alright?"

"Alright…"

They walked home together, as Haruhi smiled and jeered, "Robo-Fetish…"

Kyon snapped, "Shut up!"

* * *

><p>At Kyon's home, he and the robot were sitting together. They did nothing.<p>

"So… What should we do?" He asked.

"Today is Wednesday," she spoke, "I refuse to work with you, until the weekend. My darling, Kyon-Kyon."

"Darling?"

_Okay… You're probably wondering why she would say that. Well, she tends to be forceful, but strict, since we are about under 18. If she makes out with me, I'd be suspended… or worse… I could get my ass kicked by Haruhi.  
>Oh, well… Luckily, she has no sign of romance in me. I only wish that she'd say something, out of complex.<em>

The Maiden then whirred her head and looked at Kyon, "Kyon-Kyon… There's something I wanted to say to you…"

He blushed, as he was nervous. She then replied, "Do you know that your clothes are ugly?"

He gasped, "Did you insult me?"

"NO! I wasn't! I'm just saying the truth."

She then said, "But… I love… the way you look… in your bicycle."

He blushed and giggled, "Aw, go on."

"No, seriously," she stated, "You're movements on your bike is so precise! I like a man that can move his legs, building strength! You need to get some kind of exercising machine for it."

Kyon groaned, "I knew it was too good to be true."

_What am I saying? Haruhi's Mikuru-bot doesn't love me._

She approached her feet and rubbed softly, making little circles. She then blushed, "You have such rough feet. Let me smooth them for you."

Kyon was blushing, as the robot rubbed his feet, softly. She then started to blush, and moan. She kissed his feet and said, "Always needed a little Maiden Love, right?"

He blushed, as she continued.

_What is this? Since when did this turn into a romance fan fic? Has the robot lost her mind, or has blue screened?_

She kissed his toes and licked them. He laughed, "HEY! That tickles!"

He then asked, "Uh, can you stop? What would Haruhi say about this?"

She couldn't stop. She was too busy, caressing his feet.

"What kind of massage is this? Is she using her _Pleasure Mode?_ Haruhi's gonna kill me!"

The Maiden then stopped and said, "Oh… My Kyon… Kyon… Kyon… Kyooooo…"

She froze and collapsed, posed like she was on her knees.

Kyon cried, "MIKURU!"

He then thought, "I'm gonna say… Her battery died."

She beeped in a baritone, "_Battery low… Battery… low… Battery… loooooo…"_

Her eyes faded to black, as Kyon grabbed her and stood her on her knees. She was still motionless and frozen. Kyon plugged her in and said, "I was right. I guess she didn't know that she forgot to recharge you, now and then, did she? A Maiden may be like humans, but it's still a machine. Stupid Haruhi…"

_Haruhi is definitely going to kill me! Damn it! Why is she such a foot fetish? Oh, wait… She does it, whenever Pleasure Mode is up and running. If I wait until Saturday, I'll be fine._

"And if I tell her, tomorrow…"

He remembered what Haruhi will do to him. He thought of Haruhi whipping at him, with a paddle and golf club:  
><em>"YOU DARE USE <em>_MY__ MAIDEN FOR HIRE FOR YOUR SICK DEEDS?" She hollered, "YOU SHALL BE MY WHIPPING BOY, KYON! THAT WILL TEACH YOU TO BE A PERVERT!"_

Kyon freaked, "I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

He calmed down and saw the Maiden, still frozen. He then felt his feet and felt a soft substance on him.

"Is that… Saliva?" He thought, "No… It _can't _be. On the plus side, my feet are smooth as silk. These -Maidens must be expert podiatrists."

He went to bed and said, "In the meantime, I'll have this robot recharged, and she'll be at 100%, before school tomorrow."

He yawned, "Glad to remember that she's turned off…"

He fell asleep, resting for a new day. Of course, he was wrong. The Maiden then blushed, as she was recharged. She got up and removed her uniform and stocking. She was wearing a pink bra and white panties. She unplugged herself, as she went to bed with him.

"Kyon-Kyon…" she said, "Kyon-Kyon… Kyon-Kyon…"

_Sleep Mode activated…_

She closed her eyes and fell to _Sleep Mode_. Something is wrong with this picture…

* * *

><p><em><strong>To be continued…<strong>_


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, Kyon woke up, seeing his view of the morning sun. However, he looked at the Maiden Mikuru, as she woke up.

"Kyon-Kyon…" she whispered, all lovey-dovey.

**AHHHHHHHHHH!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 3<strong>_

* * *

><p>Kyon cried out, "What are you doing in my bed?"<p>

She spoke, as she was in her underwear, "Sorry. I couldn't sleep standing. So, I slept with you."

He cried, "But… You're naked!"

She blushed, "Oh, I'm fine. I love to keep me PG, as often, as possible."

She then held him tight and said, "You seemed so hot and bothered."

He growled, "Why are you by me, in this pose?"

She then stroked him and giggled, "I know you… are so… are so… so… so…"

She slurred, "Sooo… Sooo…"

_Rebooting…_

She bowed and was motionless, as Kyon sighed, "She must be adjusting her circuits."

He yelled, "Aren't you Haruhi's Maiden?"

She got up and said, "Yes. I just… But I don't get it. I feel so… So… So-o-o-o-o-o…"

She froze and had the _Blue Eyes of Death._

**SPROING!**

She then smoked from her back panel, which popped off, and was hot.

Kyon coughed, "Haruhi must've bought _defective _merchandise."

He blushed, "On the plus side, she sure is cute looking, so broken and like Miss Asahina…"

_Kyon! Why must you be so mean?_

He shook his head and cried out, "NO! This is no time to make a mess! I have to fix her!"

He sobbed, "Don't worry, Asahina-tron… Kyon-Kyon will fix you, as good as new…"

He growled, as he went to the phone, "…before Haruhi throttles me!"

He called the number to the company, as they agreed to help fix the Maiden, FREE of charge. They said that it'll take hours for her to be fixed. He agreed, as he said that it was friend's Maiden that he borrowed.

"Bill me!" He cried.

_Yes… Worst day of my life. A Maiden comforts and caresses me, and she breaks down… Luckily, Haruhi doesn't know. If I tell her about last night, I'll lose everything about me… since she DID say "NO Pleasure Mode"._

He went to school, as the Maiden was being tended to by three men in white coats.

**XXXXX**

As he walked to school, he had a mere thought, "Poor Mikuru Maiden… She is only trying to adjust her limits as a Maiden for Haruhi. I'm just glad I couldn't let it out… namely to anybody, at all."

He sighed, "Haruhi will never forgive me. I'll have to tell Haruhi what happened to her Maiden. It means I can keep her for another day…"

But at the Brigade room, hours later…

"NO!" Haruhi cried in tears, "My Maiden broke down?"

She sobbed and wailed in tears, and then started to scream, cry, and throw a tantrum.

"WHY DID I LEAVE HER TO YOU? HOW CAN THIS HAPPEN? MY MAIDEN HAS BEEN HERE FOR ONE DAY, AND SHE'S BROKEN! BROKEN! **BROKEN! WAH!**"

Kyon pleaded, "Haruhi, she'll be fine. She's at my house, getting a FREE fixing up."

Haruhi was in her desk, still crying, ignoring Kyon.

"My dear New Mikuru… She's gone forever… I hate you, Kyon! WHY DIDN'T YOU DO SOMETHING?"

"I DID! She's being fixed! You can see her, after school!"

Haruhi bawled, "WAH! NEW MIKURU!"

Koizumi sighed, "Let her go. She'll snap out of it, quickly."

Kyon said in disdain, "I feel like I'm the one to blame…"

The school bell rang, as Haruhi stopped crying.

She got up, all happy-like, "Okay, let's see her at your place. I'm sorry about earlier. _Oh, New Mikuru~!_"

"Whoa! That was quick!" Kyon gasped,

Koizumi smiled, "Told ya."

**XXXXX**

_The workers told me that Mikuru is malfunctioning. She had some parts that were loose, all because of Haruhi's misuse. However, she rebutted that she was caring for her, like she was her friend. They let her go with a bill, for replacement parts… at 100 Yen… and SHE made me pay it off! Why did I suffer that way?_

"That's okay, Kyon," she smiled, "It was dirt-cheap."

Haruhi then saw then Maiden, turned off and in her underwear. She gasped, "Kyon… You didn't!"

"She went to bed with me, removed her uniform, and slept. That was all."

Haruhi scowled, but smiled, "Oh, well… She's getting used to it."

She dressed the Maiden up and said, "Next time, _try _to stay alert, in case she tends to be wily."

She clamped her breast and moaned, "Jealous… Jealous… Jealous…"

She rubbed up, "AH! She's too soft and smooth! I LOVE NEW MIKURU!"

She kissed her on the lips and said, "I love you, New Mikuru…"

"HI-YAH!"

The Maiden woke up, throwing her down, in pain. She griped in pain, "My back!"

She got up and was bleeding from her head, "Welcome back… New Mikuru…"

She chopped her head and scolded, "NO! Bad Haruhi! No sexual tendencies!"

She then lectured her, "NO means NO! You're 17! My _Pleasure Mode _is NOT a toy! I refuse to be your sex doll! EVER! You're 17! For now, enjoy my services, for I will not, nor will I ever, be your sex fun!"

Haruhi wept, "Oh, I'm so sorry… I love you so much, but it's like… like I wanted to care for you!"

She held her head in pain and groaned, "But next time, don't be so violent."

"You did it…" Kyon snuffed.

"Shut it, Kyon…"

She hugged her and said, "Don't ever break down again!"

She turned to Kyon and declared, "Kyon… Thank you. I'll never forget this."

"Just remember to recharge her… _after _you make anything funny!"

"I'm sorry. I really need to learn more."

She left with Mikuru Maiden and was happy. Kyon smiled.

_Well, I guess Haruhi is happy now. But I don't get why she's become attractive towards Mikuru-bot. Maybe she'll need to teach her love. Plus, she's not a Yuri fan. I mean, this, coming from the girl who wished for ESPers, Aliens, and Time Travelers? Now a robot is involved!  
>What am I doing? She won't fall in love with her.<em>

**XXXXX**

_Of course, Haruhi remembered to care for the Maiden, even though she was loyal to me. Nagato liked her, a bit… but never showed it. Miss Asahina was simply fuming over her… And Izuko, that's Mikuru-bot's pet name for Koizumi, seemed happy by it. It lasted for days, as she was upset that she broke, over what she did. My feet still felt happy, since Mikuru gave me the Maiden Treatment. But… Why am I suddenly feeling guilty by that moment?_

She rubbed Haruhi's bare feet and beeped, "Miss Haruhi… How do you feel?"

She then kissed her feet and toes. Haruhi moaned, "Oh… Do more… It's so awesome. I feel relaxed."

_WAIT A MINUTE! Was she doing the same thing? THAT was the reason she broke down!_

Mikuru huffed, as the robot licked her feet, "AUGH!"

She stormed off, all frustrated, "HARUHI SUZUMIYA IS SICK!"

Kyon gasped, as he blushed, "No way! Uh, Ha-, Ha-, Haruhi? W-Why is she licking your feet?"

"Come again?"

She looked down and saw her Maiden, sticking Haruhi's right foot in the mouth and tongue. She was shocked, as she scolded, "NEW MIKURU! What the hell gives?"

"I'ff soggy," she muffled, as she removed her foot.

"Really…" Haruhi scowled, "You didn't have to do that."

"I _am _your Maiden, after all, Miss Suzumiya… Chan…"

"What?"

Kyon giggled, "You really made that mistake, huh?"

Haruhi glared, "WATCH IT, ROBO-FETISH!"

"Will you quit calling me that?"

Nagato said, "All seems peaceful in here."

_This Maiden must be sex-crazy. Miss Asahina is pissed, Koizumi doesn't care, and Nagato… Yeah, let's not ask how she feels about the Maiden's actions._

She then said to him, "Her actions speak louder than words. Wait for the month."

_And I STILL don't understand what she meant…_

Haruhi said, as she put her shoes on, "New Mikuru – Penalty! You are to clean the Brigade room, after school, without using speed!"

The robot sobbed, "But that's as fast as I go!"

Haruhi scolded, "No excuses! Just do it!"

She winked, "Tomorrow, you take care of that Kyon-Kyon for me!"

The Maiden bowed, "Yes, ma'am…"

She sat down and was recharging, as Kyon thought, "After what she did, she deserves some sort of punishment like that. But wasn't that too easy?"

**XXXXX**

_And so, the weekend came… Haruhi left me with this romance-crazed psycho…_

The Maiden cleaned his room, as Kyon was doing his homework. She then pouted and bowed, "Kyon-Kyon… I'm sorry. About the other night, I really didn't mean to."

Kyon smiled, "Well… I know it wasn't your fault. Plus, you were amazing with your feet use."

She smirked, "Oh, you…"

She then flirted at Kyon, "For one weekend, you can have me, all to yourself. But first, you finish your exams, and I'll make you some tea. You are so smart…"

She then scolded, "But you need to work on your subjects, more clearly."

Kyon sighed, "It won't work… She'll never love me."

_But then, as she served me tea… It happened…_

Kyon sipped his tea and said, "Wow! You're so great at tea!"

She blushed and held his thigh, "Kyon… Kyon…"

She then approached him and whispered, "I never told you this… but…"

She blushed, "I love you."

She kissed him and started to make out with him. Kyon tried to break free, but couldn't. They started to make out, as she placed his hand inside her dress, caressing her hip and back.

"Oh, Kyon… I know it is wrong…" she moaned, "But I have loved you, even if you are young."

Kyon cried, "Why are you doing this?"

"It's what my programming does. I find you… _unknown data_… very sexy… even if no one likes you. You were so sweet, since you looked sad. And I guess Miss Haruhi enjoys seeing you happy. Please don't be mad about it."

His hand touched her butt, as she moaned, "Oh, you frisky thing, you!"

_WHAT AM I DOING?_

He pulled away and shouted, "STOP IT! What is wrong with you? Why would you want to do this? You know damn well I don't love Maidens! You are simply crazy! What if Haruhi sees us? I still felt bad about what happened, the other night?"

She hushed him and whispered, "No… No words… Do me…"

Kyon tittered in fright, "No… Please. You're Haruhi Suzumiya's Maiden for Hire. I don't even own you! I'm borrowing you for the weekend… THAT'S ALL!"

Mikuru blushed and held him tight. She kissed him, continuously, as Kyon gave up. She whispered, "Haruhi is not here… She won't be back, until Sunday night… I'm yours, until then… I may _still _be loyal to my master, but she has to learn how to tend to my guaranteed service."

They continued to make out, as Kyon had no choice. In fact, he couldn't break free, this time.

"This is ridiculous…" he groaned, as he was dug into his shirt, by the Maiden, "Uh, Mikuru…"

Her LED eyes glowed in a bright pink hue and blushed, sticking her tongue out. She tongue-kissed him, while Kyon was mesmerized by the Maiden's eyes. They went at it, for several hours.

**XXXXX**

That night, they slept together, as Kyon was tired, with just his shirt and boxers on. The Maiden was in the covers, plugged in, and in her bra and panties. Kyon woke up and saw the Maiden, all in smiles and joy. Her smile stayed, as she was turned off. He groaned.

_What are the consequences for what I just did? Haruhi Suzumiya's Maiden just disobeyed her orders… Why can't she obey her, than me?_

_It got worse… The next night, she apologized again, as she came to me._

She grabbed his shirt and whispered, "Forgive me… I didn't mean to. I was… I meant what I said, but I was so… so…"

"Please don't malfunction again," he said, "I forgive you."

He then hugged her and said, "Don't be like that again, okay? You tend to me, for guaranteed service, but you were careless."

Mikuru smiled and was in tears, "Oh, Kyon-Kyon… Kiss me…"

She beeped, as she puckered her lips, "Kiss… Kiss…"

They kissed, but lightly, as she froze in place.

_Rebooting…_

She stayed in place, as Kyon stopped kissing. She was still puckered, as Kyon smiled, "I'm going to miss you. I hope we'll meet at school again soon."

He kissed her again, but…

"KYON!" Haruhi called, "I let myself in! Where's my precious New Mi…?"

She gasped, "ku… ru…?"

She saw Kyon kissing the frozen Mikuru Maiden, as she moved again.

"Miss Suzumiya!" She giggled, "What a surprise!"

Kyon gasped, "It's not what you think! She came onto me! You'd understand, right?"

Haruhi turned away and scolded at her Maiden, "BAD MAIDEN! Why did you kiss him?"

The Maiden sobbed and said… in a lie, "Oh, it was terrible. I wanted to give him a goodbye kiss, but my body was rebooting! He hugged me and caressed my body, so badly!"

"THAT'S A LIE!" He yelled.

Haruhi shouted, "Is _this_ true?"

"NO!" He yelled, "I was trying to make her happy. You told me to _never_ be a pervert to her!"

Mikuru was smiling and said, "Oh, don't be, Kyon-Kyon… I'll never forget Saturday night, when we made out, so hot and sexy…"

"CUT! CUT!" Haruhi shouted.

She stared at Kyon and snarled, "Make her happy, huh? Kyon…"

Kyon groaned, "She came onto me! You don't understand! She's lying!"

**SLAP!**

Haruhi slapped Kyon, in anger. She then scowled at him and snapped, "BASTARD!"

She took the Maiden by the arm and snarled, "Kyon… Penalty! You are _forbidden _to _EVER _touch my Maiden for Hire, _**AGAIN!**_"

She cried, as they left, "THAT'S the _last time _I ever trust you for something!"

The Mikuru Maiden then looked at Kyon, and gave her an evil smile, behind Haruhi's back.

"Sucker…" she whispered.

_Did she just trick me? What is going on? I would never hurt her Maiden for Hire! But… But how did she lie to her? She used me! Whatever is going on, I don't like it. That Maiden is what I felt guilty about, since the other day, but she just fooled me. That Maiden must've had a beef for me. But what?  
>Now Haruhi hates me… for something I <em>_didn't__ do._

* * *

><p><em>But that was the beginning of my troubles… as it got worse, with that "Maiden"! All I could tell you is that… the Mikuru Demon Maiden, as I'd like to call her, brought Haruhi and I together…<br>But… You wouldn't believe me, since it was true…_

* * *

><p><em><strong>To be continued…<strong>_


	4. Chapter 4

_Since then, Haruhi hasn't spoken to me, for days. Every time I come in, she is being pampered by that Mikuru Maiden. She has given me the silent treatment… and has even ignored me. That's all she cared about. The SOS Brigade was falling apart, except for Nagato, who didn't care… if she showed it, I mean. If they even did a Yuki Nagato Maiden, she'd, at least, smile._

_Of course, my life with Haruhi, as it started to fray, gotten worse…_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 4<strong>_

* * *

><p>At Haruhi's home, the Maiden rubbed her feet again, as Haruhi sighed in anger and relief, "I am <em>never <em>lending you to Kyon-Kyon, ever again! He lied to me, promising me not to take advantage of you… Why did he have to be such a robo-fetish?"

She pouted, "I'll never trust him again. Maybe I lost all respect for him. I mean… You, New Mikuru, are _my _Maiden."

Mikuru smiled, as she approached her waist, while she was lying down, "Oh, don't be mad. He's like all men. Kyon-Kyon didn't have to do it. He must've reactivated my _Pleasure Mode_."

Haruhi whispered, "Right here…"

She massaged her waist, as she griped, "Honestly! What would possess him to be very perverted? I am okay with you, kissing me in my feet, but it's disgusting. Lest we forget that we were in school…"

She clamped her waist and rubbed in circles. She growled, "Miss Haruhi… Kyon-Kyon didn't know well. And to answer _that_, I was just doing my function. Maybe you forgot to deactivate my _Pleasure Mode_."

"Feh! I don't need someone like Kyon, to be so irresponsible! It was _never _my fault. Maybe that time you and he had was the reason why."

"Uh… Yeah. Maybe so. Please turn around."

Haruhi turned around, as she removed her shirt and unhooked her bra. She then rubbed her back and shoulder blades, in a warm movement and feel.

"Mmm…" Haruhi moaned, "Higher… Higher…"

Haruhi _was_ being pampered, like she was a princess. The Maiden smiled and asked, "Tell me… Would you like me, if _everybody _owned my brothers and sisters?"

Haruhi said in a relaxed state, "Oh… Ye-e-e-e-esss…"

Her hands went to vibrato… as she was shaken up.

"New… Miiii… Kuuuuu… Ruuuuu…" she vibrated, "No-o-o-o-o-ot to-o-o-o-o-o mu-u-u-u-u-uch…"

She stopped, as Haruhi removed her bra and put on her shirt. She then smiled, "Wow… I never knew you were a vibrator. Too soon? I'm only 17, and I have such knowledge on sex education. But I am _not _like other girls. I would never go and play _Kyon-Kyon _and touch you badly."

"You did… twice, or thrice…" the Maiden rebutted, "And I appreciated that you _never _touch them again! Like I said…"

Haruhi pouted, "I know… I'm sorry. But hey, at least we'll have some time together, as we are in school. But ignore Kyon… He's a robo-fetish."

The Maiden then blushed and hugged her, "I'm so glad that you came to me. I won't be a burden, since Kyon-Kyon was bad."

They slept together, as Haruhi yawned, "Ahh… Maidens… I want to be one, one day… Maybe I'll ask to make one… of… me…"

She yawned, moaned, and sighed. She fell asleep, after that.

_Now, I know what you're thinking… This whole thing is turning into a Yuri fan fic. Well, it's not._

**XXXXX**

_But it continued on, for weeks. And there was a worst case scenario. Every time I entered the school, Haruhi wasn't there. Every time I enter the Brigade club room, Haruhi wasn't there. And every time I was on my way home, to see Haruhi… she wasn't there, either._

_I really felt bad for what I did… even though SHE did it. I had to talk to Koizumi about this, including the other week we had, and you'll never guess what he said._

"Oh, she played the evil card, huh?" he giggled, "Well, it seems that she had to trick you, since she cares for Miss Suzumiya, and not you."

Kyon griped, "Why did she do it? She came onto me!"

"Miss Suzumiya didn't deactivate _Pleasure Mode _on the Asahina Robot, did she?"

"I don't think so… But what I don't get is why she knew Haruhi came here, and _why _she chose to kiss me goodbye."

"She must've got lucky… OR she must've known what time she'd come to your place to pick her up."

"Great. Haruhi hates me now and The Maiden has a thing for me… romantically _and _hatefully."

"She doesn't hate you. You're _not _her user."

He then said, as he got up, "Maybe this was how Haruhi pictured it. She knew that she would give you Mikuru #2 and go gaga over her."

"So, this is her doing?"

"Maybe so… After all, she has the power to do so."

"You're right. But, why would she hate me like that? The Maiden just did it to me, out of hatred."

Koizumi said, "Man, you got it all wrong. She bought the Maiden and set up a whole new system in it. Have you seen how Miss Asahina felt about the Maiden?"

"Now that you mention it, I saw her going podiatrist on her, leaving Miss Asahina jealous."

Koizumi said, "Well, she didn't return to school, after that. She felt bad about you, but she wanted to tell you this: _she's sorry._"

Kyon thought, "Why would she say that she's apologizing?"

Koizumi continued, "Well, she didn't want to stay, until Mikuru is gone; the robot Mikuru."

"What about Miss Nagato?"

"She chose to stay, just to observe."

"On that note, why did she say to wait for the month to end?"

"The month on when Miss Suzumiya pays for the Maiden for Hire, which was a steady 2,500 Yen rental fee; Miss Nagato may have something she may see that may be disastrous."

"WHAT?"

Koizumi giggled, "We cannot be so sure. I say wait and find out. If Nagato's hunch is correct, Miss Suzumiya may be doomed. If not, well… enjoy having to not be Haruhi Suzumiya's punching bag, for a long while."

_Koizumi had a point. But I __still__ don't get it._

* * *

><p><em>But as I headed to school, the next day, there was a familiar face. She…<em>

He was right. The Maiden looked like Ryoko Asakura, with a bright cyan and burgundy skirt. She was by a fruit stand.

"Hello, sir?" She bowed, "My name is R-9000 – Brianna Model. Would you like some free fruit samples?"

He shivered, "Uh, no, thank you…"

Brianna responded, "Do you find me scary?"

She held his hand and blushed, "I don't mind you being scared of me, since you… since you may be…"

Kyon gasped, "No, I mean, well, you reminded me of-."

He then sighed, "You know what… Never mind. Sorry about that awkward moment, uh, Brianna."

Brianna bowed and gave him and small orange and lemon.

"I find you sweet," she said, as she bowed, "Free sample?"

He walked away, as she waved, "_Bye… Come back again~_!"

He called back, "_I doubt it_~!"

_This is weird. Even the whole town has become a Maiden-Utopia. But I'm relieved that it was a Ryoko Maiden and NOT the other one.  
>But for me, it got worse… There were Maidens and Butlers, all over the place; selling and doing everyday duties. It's like some sort of movie! Haruhi has banned me from touching Mikuru-Bot, stopped talking to me, and has been absent! All the while, THIS is happening!<br>This is ridiculous…_

* * *

><p>He arrived at school and saw Haruhi, by the window, standing and looking at it. She was lost in thought. He sat down and was quiet. He then looked around. There was no one in the club room.<p>

"Oh. Nagato's not here?" He asked.

Haruhi said nothing. She continued to look out the window.

"Haruhi…" he said, "I was sorry. Look, I'm sorry that I did… _that._ And I am sorry for _that, _because your Maiden for Hire did _that _to me… and all _this_ was a huge mistake. Haruhi, I know you may have seen this, but everyone is a Maiden and Butler for Hire. I was wondering… Will you say that we forget about it and go back to the way we were? I am saying that your Maiden is nice, but let's limit her use of her, okay? Okay?"

Haruhi turned to Kyon and blushed, "Kyon…"

She said as she was flushed in a love look, "I am so sorry… But…"

She hugged him and said, "I love you…"

He gasped, "WHAT? Did she just confess her love to me? NO… She's just playing with me, since she's still mad at me."

Haruhi blushed and was all doey-eyed, "Oh, Kyon… You're so awesome. I never realized that now. I love you and your awesome looks. Who needed that Maiden, when you have a hot young man, like you?"

_I know that she did NOT just say that. Tell me she didn't just say that! That's not Haruhi Suzumiya jargon, at all! She's losing it!_

She hugged him tight and said, "Kyon-Kyon… I love you… Yuki, Mikuru, and Koizumi, they all left, before you came. Tell me… What do you like about me?"

She fluffed her hair and giggled, "I have such silky hair. What do you think?"

_Huh? No scowl? And she doesn't look bored…_

"Hey, uh, why aren't you bored, already?" He asked.

She smiled, "Oh, you… How about I give you a massage, Kyon-Kyon?"

_A MASSAGE? It… It can't be!_

She brushed her hair back, revealing to show a red button on her neck. This Haruhi was a Maiden, as well!

_What the hell is going on? I know the words she say is NOT Haruhi's… because SHE'S not Haruhi Suzumiya! I have to do something._

But before he could, she kissed him and held him tight, "Trust me, Kyon-Kyon… I am here for your guaranteed service…"

Kyon cried, as he stepped away, "YOU! You're not Haruhi!"

Haruhi laughed, "Oh, Kyon, don't be ridiculous! I _am _Haruhi! I love being a Maiden, just like New Mikuru. In fact, I was created for your guaranteed services. I'll do anything your heart's desire."

Kyon panicked, "What are you talking about? Why are you talking this way?"

He cried, "Don't you remember what I did to your Maiden, uh, New Mikuru?"

"No… _Memory deleted._"

She tried to grab him, but he jumped out of the way.

"Haruhi! Snap out of it!"

He then thought, "But… I may deactivate her. Only… How?"

She blushed, as she removed her school uniform top and blushed, "Hug me? This is as far as I can go… Darling Kyon-Kyon…"

_This Haruhi Robot is crazy! She states that she is the REAL Haruhi, but I don't believe it, one bit. She's losing it!_

Haruhi then cried in joy, "COME TO ME, KYON!"

But then…

**BZZT!**

_Error… Error… System malfunction… Maiden must be rebooted…_

She froze in place, as Kyon put her shirt back on. She then beeped and whir, "Kyon… _Error… _I Love you... _Error… _Kyon… _Error…_"

He sat her down and was upset. He was confused, as he doesn't know anything about the Maiden _or _computers.

"Man, this is ridiculous… What happened to her?" He thought, "Why is the Maiden Programming in her?"

Koizumi appeared, in a Butler for Hire uniform, and bowed, "You wish for my services?"

"Koizumi? Not you, too!"

"Relax. I am here, incognito. I overheard you and Haruhi making out, after apologizing, but… I see that she is shorting out."

Kyon said, as he was confused, "Yeah… She said I love you, but only because she's a robot. I guess even a Haruhi Maiden can be very arousing… yet disturbing…"

Haruhi beeped, "Kyon-Kyon… I love-, _Error!_"

Koizumi smiled and said, "Well… She has become shorting out. We better reboot her, back to her normal self, before she _Blue Eyes _on us."

"Blue Eyes?"

"It's a Maiden Term for "Blue-screened". If that happens… She'll be gone… forever."

Kyon growled, "NO! I will _not _save this Haruhi Maiden."

Koizumi sighed, as he confessed, "Uh, you have no choice, Kyon. Because _that _Maiden Haruhi _is _the real Miss Suzumiya."

Kyon gasped in horror.

_You mean that android Haruhi… is THE Haruhi Suzumiya? I… I don't get it! Why has she become this way? And… if we don't reboot her, she'll be gone for good! But why?_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Find out in the next chapter…<strong>_


	5. Chapter 5

"So… I need to know," he asked Koizumi, "Before you tell me what is going on, how can I be sure that you're the real Koizumi?"

He replied, "Don't worry, Kyon. Myself, Nagato, and Mikuru are all unaffected by this world. You see, what you are seeing here, is this android's, as you call Miss Suzumiya's current state, world. As said, this is what she wished for. The rest of us, being not normal humans, had to resort to acting and playing the roles of the Maidens and Butlers around here. Plus, Miss Nagato overheard her behavior."

"And that is?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 5<strong>_

* * *

><p>Koizumi explained to Kyon what Nagato told him, as they connected Haruhi, who was a Maiden that is malfunctioning. He told him that the Maiden Mikuru has given her wish, only to be affected by the world, too.<p>

He then stated, as he typed on a laptop, "After all… This happened before. Except _this time_, the Maiden for Hire circuitry has fused with her. She has become a full-blown Maiden, with _Pleasure Mode _installed. However, her entire personality as Haruhi Suzumiya has been locked away. Someone must've installed firewalls into her."

"How did she get fused?"

"Simple. There were discarded Maidens and Butlers that had been tossed away, just to fuse with Haruhi."

He scanned and looked at the Maiden's circuits (_from Past Maidens and Butlers_):  
><em>Haruhi Suzumiya – Model #H178H178<br>Circuits – Personality Disc A2A (Sakaki Model), Self-Awareness (Miko Model), Memory Drive B (Tomo Model V1), Pleasure Mode Increase Device (Tenma Model V1), Emotional Circuits (Removed from Eri Model), Sexual Program (Koyomi Model), Speed Module (Keiji Butler Model), Self-Activation File (Tohru Model), Memory Drive C (Removed from Yakumo Model), Maiden Program (Kagura S. Model), Fail-Safe File #W7Z (Taken from Kensuke Butler Model), Song File (taken from Karen Model)"_

_V1 means "Version __One__". The recent Tomo and Tenma Models are "Version __Two__"_

"Whoa… Talk about a lot of stolen files and microchips," Kyon gasped.

Koizumi smirked, "Why not? Most of them were now hers, since they are broken and are junk. The others, well, they are still functioning."

Haruhi beeped, "_Warning… _Kyon-Kyon, I love you… _Warning… _I love you…"

He added, "But the mind boggles why she has been malfunctioning like a crazy machine. The safe thing to do is fix her, without breaking her."

Kyon groaned, "I… I rather not… but if we must save her, then we must."

Yuki Nagato appeared, dressed in an eggplant-colored maid uniform and bowed. She then spoke, without feeling, "Hello. I am your Maiden for Hire. Allow me to help you fix Miss Suzumiya, Kyon-Kyon. I apologize for saying it, since that's all Mikuru Robot says."

Kyon sighed, "Fine. Only the _real _Miss Nagato may not say my name."

"That _is _the real Miss Nagato."

"I knew that. I'm just stating the obvious."

She typed in, as Koizumi asked her, "Is there anything we can salvage from her?"

"No. We cannot. Her circuitry has become advanced. However, I can try to bypass her circuitry and security, without damaging the fused-up unit. Model #H178H178 shall be searched, just for the moment."

She hacked in, finding the Maiden's main circuit board. She located a file that has been stolen from another Maiden.

"It is her security file, section A-87S… It has been stolen from Model #T8661 – Tenma Model. Her security files show that the Maiden cannot divulge further history of past services to new users."

Koizumi smiled, "I see. (And I have no idea what _Models_ were they)."

Nagato added, "It is also confirmed that Miss Suzumiya has a password encrypted into her, made by the Mikuru Robot."

Kyon cried, "NO! WHY?"

Nagato explained, "It is explained that the Maiden has hacked into this world, made by her, and is now making her a brand new Maiden, starting a whole new world."

Koizumi asked, "How long before she _Blue Eye_?"

"About twenty minutes… I shall now scan her, to see if she if the Maiden has done something to her."

She typed in, as Kyon grew worried.

Haruhi beeped, "_System error… Maiden program fading… _Oh, Kyon-Kyon, when we live together, as Maiden and User, I want you to make out with me, on a weekly basis, while I cook and clean for you. Let us be married, as what we do."

Koizumi smirked, "OH? Maidens and Butlers are not allowed to marry users! That's the rule."

Nagato addressed, "This was taken by _Hiro Butler Model_. A file was learned that he cannot marry a user. The robot Haruhi chose to marry, than otherwise."

Kyon asked, "So, what do you think caused her to break down and malfunction?"

Nagato searched her memory file and found Haruhi's data of Mikuru Maiden's usage. She found something interesting.

She spoke, "Mikuru Maiden wants to eliminate Haruhi Suzumiya, making her a full-blown Maiden… erasing her entire personality. She wants her to be a Maiden for Hire… forever."

_Cue dramatic music…_

Haruhi sobbed, "Kyon-Kyon, no… I love you! _Error! Data Malfunction… Error… _I love you…"

Kyon cried, "What shall we do? If we keep talking, then Haruhi will disappear! In fact… I think I miss her."

He held her hand and whispered, "Haruhi… I want to let you know…"

He sighed, as he let out a tear, "I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry. I didn't mean to make you hate me."

She beeped, "I… I… I… I love you…"

Nagato then hacked into her files and opened her personality files. However, she typed in ALL asterisks, which was a hidden password. She typed ENTER, as she was introduced to a screen file.

_File Password correct – Please enter Security Question to activate…_

Koizumi was shocked, as Kyon hugged Haruhi.

Kyon said, "Haruhi… I'm sorry that everything happened like this. But, what happened between me and New Mikuru was _her _fault. I know you would find it in your heart to forgive me, even if you are not speaking to me. But… Damn it! I don't want a Maiden World! I want you!"

Haruhi then cried tears and said, in her normal voice, "Kyon… You mean it?"

"Haruhi! Yes, you can hear me!"

"Kyon… I forgive you. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hate you. New Mikuru was acting that way, after she kissed my feet and gave me a back massage. Kyon, I am still mad at you for treating her badly… but I'll forgive you."

She couldn't move. She spoke, but never moved. All she could do was whir her head towards Kyon.

"I… I love you… I forgive you… I love you… Please save me… _Error_… I love… Forgive… _Data Malfunction…_"

Koizumi called, "Uh, Kyon, bad news…"

He looked at the screen, as he saw a security question.

"WHAT THE HELL?" He gasped, "Since when does she have a security question?"

Nagato said, "It was inserted into her files, by Mikuru."

She then bowed a bit, all deactivated, as Kyon shook her.

"Nagato! Nagato!" He cried.

Koizumi said, "Don't worry. She's _fake _deactivated. This is something _you _must do."

"What about you?" He asked.

Koizumi turned away, as he held the 'deactivated' Nagato.

He stepped back, as Kyon read the question:  
><em>Haruhi's dream was…<br>A) To have fun  
>B) To be a Maiden for Hire<br>C) To find Aliens, Time Travellers, and ESPers  
>D) None of the above<em>

Kyon then growled, "This is serious… And I only have minutes to spare. I would say C, but… B is because Mikuru made her to it. A is impossible, so…"

He had to think, as Koizumi asked, "Don't look at me. What was the question?"

"You knew already…" he sighed.

Koizumi spoke, "Oh, I knew you'd say that. After all, this is _your _move."

Nagato beeped, "Nagato Model… Please… I am here for your guaranteed service. Model #000000… I am here for…"

Koizumi cried, "Kyon! Hurry up! Nagato's becoming a Maiden, too!"

Nagato then spoke in a cheerful robotic voice, "Haruhi Model is so awesome as a sister! Her dream was to be a Maiden! And she did!"

Kyon cried, "Too late!"

Koizumi sighed, "Too late… She's become one. Now all that's left is her smile."

Nagato then spoke in her normal voice, "Haruhi has no dreams… You must save her. By now, you may know what she has done."

She then spoke in her robotic voice, "Kyon-Kyon… Please activate your Haruhi Maiden, right now… for she is here for your guaranteed-."

Koizumi turned her off. She bent down, with her arms flailing. He then said, "Two minutes left… We're doomed…"

Kyon then said in sadness, "I'm sorry, Haruhi. I guess Maidens is your dream."

He then remembered:  
><em>Haruhi cheered, "Our job is to hunt for Aliens, Time travelers, and ESPers!"<em>

_She then cheered, "Mikuru, we are going to make a movie!"_

_She held a baseball bat and shouted, "I'm going to enter the baseball tournament and dream of Koshien."_

_She was relaxing in the grass and thought, "Being in a band is great. Maybe I should start my own band."_

_Kyon asked, "What do you mean start?"  
>"TO MAKE A CLUB!" Haruhi shouted in a cheerful disposition.<em>

Kyon gasped, "THAT'S IT!"

_It was then, I realized, that Haruhi's answer was right in front of her. And I know what the answer was… So, after all my thinking, with seconds before Haruhi dies of a Computer Error…_

"Kyon-Kyon… I love you…"

Kyon typed in "D"! He cried, "D! None of the above! She dreams of anything she wants, but gets bored immediately!"

Haruhi then beeped, as her eyes went black.

"Kyon-Kyon… I… love… you…"

She slurred down and was gone. Kyon was shocked. Haruhi was gone.

"No… I was wrong…" he cringed, "How? How did this happen?"

But then… A miracle happen… Her eyes remained color and was moving her body. Her LED Brown eyes remained, and her body was still a Maiden's form. She then saw herself and was moved, "Why am I suddenly robotic? Is it just me?"

Kyon cried, as Yuki regained movement, returning to normal, "HARUHI!"

"Kyon? Where am I?"

Nagato remarked, "It appears that D was the right answer."

Koizumi smiled, "Welcome back, Nagato."

She asked him, "You. Why am I wearing a Maiden's unpleasant ensemble?"

Kyon said, "Seems to me that Miss Nagato has returned to her old self, while _now _deciding to hate the Maidens for Hire."

Nagato remarked, "No. My approval of Maidens for Hire remains undecided."

Haruhi giggled, as she hugged Kyon, "Oh, Kyon! I made a huge mistake! I feel like a Maiden for Hire in a School Courtyard! I feel so giddy and alive…"

She scowled, "And I hate it! Being an all-nice glee girl is sickening! Joining the cheerleading squad was one of the reasons!"

_Yep. She's back to normal… almost…_

Haruhi replied, "Kyon… I am so sorry. I forgive you for everything. Mikuru Maiden used me. I'm giving her a penalty for her reckless behavior. I told her NO! Besides, her saliva, which was realistic, was disgusting."

_It's clear oil, actually, but simulates saliva… for the Maiden/Butler's realistic touch._

Kyon hugged her and said, "It's okay, as long as you are alive again."

Koizumi then whispered, "Turn her off. She's still like this."

_He's right. She's still a Maiden… or in this case, Haruhi Suzumiya, in a Maiden's body that looked like her, 100%. What can I do? Should I ask her about her change? If so, she'll malfunction again. Too bad… I really liked her new look._

"Kyon? What's wrong?" She asked, "Why are you hugging me tightly?"

Kyon then approached her button and said, "Haruhi… I'm sorry. But I need to speak with Koizumi… alone."

"What for?"

He closed his eyes and groaned, "Forgive me…"

He pressed her button and turned her off. Her eyes went black and her body was frozen stiff. She was stood straight, with her arms down. She was rigid, even though she was turned off. He laid her aside, on a table, resting. He bowed and said, "Haruhi… I will get you home… This isn't what you want. I'll stop that Mikuru Maiden… and return home."

He dashed off, as the Haruhi Maiden was still lying on the table, deactivated.

_If she could hear me, she would say, "Kyon, good luck! The SOS Brigade is counting on you!" or "Kyon! ARE YOU STUPID?"  
>Either way… That Maiden Devil is going down! Haruhi… I will save you yet…<em>

* * *

><p><em><strong>To be continued…<strong>_

* * *

><p><em>By the way, you are wondering why we rushed a bit… Well, I figured that I do a dramatic scene with the Haruhi Suzumiya robot, powered down, BEFORE I show you what Koizumi said to me. Here's what he said, seconds after I turned Haruhi off:<em>

_Koizumi said, "There's not much time left. You got no hurry for this, but I suggest that you do it now, before EVERYBODY, including us, will become mechanical slaves. Then, this world will have just you, as the sole human."_

_Nagato said, "We spied on Mikuru Model and heard that she's giving you your own Maiden World, as a dream of Haruhi's. Miss Suzumiya felt sorry for you, before it happened."_

"_Why are you telling me now, instead of before?" Kyon asked._

_Koizumi said, "Well, I figured that there's __this__ first. But the reason why is that it's not just Haruhi's own vision… It's all about her Maiden. Remember, she said that she'll give __anything__ her heart's desire… including a world with Maiden's and Butlers. But I figured that this was Mikuru Maiden's doing. This is one tenacious robot maid we're dealing with."_

_Kyon then nodded, as he looked at Haruhi, who was still turned off._

"_There's ONE way out," he concluded, "You're going to have to destroy her. I know Haruhi will hate you for it, but…"_

_Kyon said, "You forget. Haruhi hates New Mikuru now, because of robot spit. Tell me what I have to do, before it's too late."_

_Koizumi said, "Well, Nagato found her location, far away, where she bunks, from here."_

_Nagato said, "Your house."_

"_WHAT? __**WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?**__"_

* * *

><p><em>I had no choice. She is living in MY house? Unacceptable! Unless…<em>

* * *

><p><em><strong>Find out in the next chapter…<strong>_


	6. Chapter 6

"AW, YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!"

_Yeah, I left the building, leaving Haruhi Suzumiya, who is deactivated. If you missed it or forgot, or just skimmed away, I'll start at the beginning… in a __simple__ description.  
>Haruhi buys a Maiden, the Maiden loves me, the Maiden tricks me, Haruhi hates me, I wake up to a weird Maiden World that Haruhi created, Haruhi becomes a Maiden, and with any luck (in a bad way), Koziumi and Nagato will be that way, too, I fixed Haruhi, and went off to go find the Mikuru Maiden.<em>

_So, why am I suddenly in anger at the beginning? Well, I found my bike, from out of nowhere…_

His bike that had returned was in perfect condition; except that the wheels are in the shape of hearts.

"How am I going to ride off to my house, to find that devil Maiden?" He cried.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 6<strong>_

* * *

><p>He rode to his house, very slowly and bumpy.<p>

"Note to self: NEVER make heart-shaped wheels for bicycles," he groaned, "Man, this is taking forever…"

But as he rode into the streets, he found a Mikuru Maiden, with a bright purple and white maid uniform. He gasped and stepped out, running to her. He recognized that face, simply because he never missed it. In fact, to be sure…

He checked inside her dress, seeing her breasts. His hunch was correct. It was the _real _Mikuru! He found her tiny birthmark, in the shape of a star. Mikuru was frozen and motionless, holding a cell phone. He grabbed it and saw a text message:  
><em>Kyon, forgive me… But I am becoming a Maiden for Hire, just like that home wrecker. I went to your house, only to meet with my double, but all she said was "Kyon-Kyon's not home".<br>After that, I walked home, but suddenly started to change. The next thing I knew, my body was li_

The message ended there.

"Miss Asahina," he said, "I'm sorry. I'll get you, uh, her for this. Man, am I confused? I forget that you two look alike."

He then had an idea of turning her on, but he got a text message from Koizumi, beforehand:

_Kyon, is this a bad time?  
>I am sending you a text from my Text Mode. Sorry, but I think the Maiden influence got to me, too. Anyway, I am sending you a timer, on Miss Asahina's phone. This tells you how long before we all go away and become Maidens and Butlers.<br>By the way, don't bother turning on Miss Asahina. Her batteries are dead._

Kyon dropped his head in disappointment, "_Now _he tells me…"

He viewed the timer and saw how much time is left: _8:29:20_. Kyon has about eight hours left, before everybody he knew was gone, except for Haruhi, who was deactivated and fixed up.

_Eight hours left… I have to walk there, since it's no hurry. But I'll have to get there and finish it._

**XXXXX**

Meanwhile, at the school, Haruhi reactivated herself and sat up. She still has the _Self-Activation File _from the defective and evil Tohru Model. She looked around, as there was no one there. She then scanned, looking for Kyon.

"I know where he went," she said, "Kyon, wait for me!"

She ran off, as she tried to look for Kyon, who was heading for his house, where Mikuru Maiden is.

**XXXXX**

Two hours later, Kyon was exhausted, as he found his house, from a distance. He then noticed a huge building by it, with Mikuru's face on it, winking.

"Dead giveaway, if you ask me," he sighed.

He then said, "But still, how in the world did she build a home, by my house? I don't care… but I want her out!"

_Mikuru Devil Maiden, you've cause me enough trouble. Making Haruhi as a robot was the last straw! Of course, it was fine, since I dreamed of one, one day; but using her, for your sick deeds?_

"Six hours to go," he said, "I better enter this place, and hurry. Of course, I have all the time in the-."

"KYON!"

Haruhi rushed to Kyon and shouted, "_Target Spotted!_"

She hugged him and cried, "I'm coming with you!"

"What are _you _doing here? I told you to stay at the school!"

She blushed and giggled, "Oh, my darling Kyon… I love you so much. I wanted to stay by you, so you won't hurt yourself."

_THAT wasn't Haruhi's tone! THAT'S NOT HARUHI!_

She grabbed her tie and yelled, "And if you think I'm going to let you go at New Mikuru alone, you're nuts! You better not hurt my Maiden, you robo-fetish!"

_Yep. THAT'S Haruhi._

"Sorry, but you'll only be in the way. I don't you to sacrifice yourself to that Maiden."

"She didn't do anything, except disobeying my orders, which is that stupid toe-kissing!"

Kyon then sighed and said, "Well… actually, she wanted to make you a Maiden for Hire, forever."

"She what?"

_I told her everything that she's going to do. All she could answer was…_

"THAT LITTLE PIECE OF BARBIE!" She hollered, "Wait until I get my hands on her!"

Kyon cried, "NO! If you get in her way, you'll be dismantled, just like that!"

Haruhi thought, as she looked at her hands, "No wonder I am like this."

She cried, "What'll we do?"

"I don't know!"

He got a text message from Koizumi:  
><em>Bad news… Mikuru has known about you. She's going to get to you, just to make sure you won't deactivate her. Plus, she'll have a bunch of Maidens and Butlers with her. If you see them, and one of them is me or Nagato, you'll know. We're safe.<br>By the way, here's the score: I want you to deactivate her, by pressing her red button. That's all. Once she's off, the world will be back to normal. Luckily, I did some research and learned that they cannot make the same mistake that Sakaki Model did, when she disabled her OFF switch, and burned into an overheated mess._

Kyon then nodded, "Right."

He retorted to Haruhi, "Sorry, Haruhi… But she _must _be turned off."

"NO!"

"I got no choice."

He left, but Haruhi stopped him, grabbing his wrist, "WAIT!"

She then said, "I'm coming with!"

Kyon scolded, "Need I remind you that _you_ are a Maiden for Hire now, with a breakable body?"

Haruhi scowled, "Need I remind you _who _the leader of the SOS Brigade is?"

Kyon sighed and gave up, "She's got a point."

He then ordered, "Okay, but you have to stay out of the way, so you won't get hurt… or torn apart. Just remember…"

"I know. I'm a machine. Besides, I'll be careful."

She hugged him and said, "I love you!"

She stepped back in fright and cried, "DAMN THIS BODY! I don't love you!"

"Aw, you're so handsome!"

"Stupid Maiden program! Now I know how the other robots felt!"

"Let's us have some fun. I am here…"

"KYON!"

"…for your guaranteed service."

"DAMN IT!"

He turned her off and said, "She's getting worse. And we only have five hours left."

He carried the deactivated Haruhi with him, as he headed to Mikuru Maiden's home. He dashed off, with Haruhi on his back.

_This is stupid. This is a solo mission, while Haruhi Suzumiya chose to come. Now, with four hours left, Haruhi is malfunctioning again, out of conflict. I cannot lose her. PLEASE give me back my boring life, with Haruhi Suzumiya as a human, and her old self again!_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Three hours left…<strong>_

* * *

><p>They arrived at the building, which was a huge auditorium. He placed down Haruhi and turned her on. She woke up and spoke, "Where am I?"<p>

Kyon said, "We're here. We'll meet New Mikuru, face-to-face."

Haruhi said, in sadness, "Please… Don't hurt her. I have to pay her, tomorrow. It's the end of her month."

He shouted, "You'll do _nothing _and _like it_, if that evil android gets its way!"

She pouted, as Kyon entered the building. Haruhi followed, but…

Kyon stopped her and said, "You stay here. I forgot that you're a machine. I cannot let you hurt yourself."

"Knowing New Mikuru, she must have bodyguards. Okay."

She waited, as Kyon left to find Mikuru. But after twenty minutes of waiting…

"I'm bored… _Error… Maiden Unit is bored…_"

She went inside, to follow Kyon.

_Even for a robot of Haruhi, she gets bored, easily._

**XXXXX**

Kyon then found a huge room, full of Maidens and Butlers, sitting down, watching and staring at Kyon. They all whispered to each other, "It's Kyon-Kyon… Kyon-Kyon… Kyon-Kyon the One… Oh, he's creepy… The Kyon-Kyon that Mikuru Model knew about…" and other stuff like that.

Kyon called out, "MIKURU!"

The Maiden appeared and growled, "Kyon-Kyon… Good to see you again."

All the robots watched on in awe, except for Koizumi and Yuki. They were waiting patiently for his next move.

Kyon shouted, "You hurt Haruhi! She's your master! She's a user to you! How dare you turn her into a Maiden?"

She turned away and giggled, "You look very tense. Shall we take you away?"

The Maidens appeared in front of Kyon and grabbed him by the arms. He ducked out of the way, as he rushed towards the Maiden. The next wave of Maidens appeared with delicious desserts. They had cookies, gelatin, pie, Bundt cake, chocolate layer cake, cupcakes, and others.

"Here!" The wave cheered, "Enjoy our desserts!"

Kyon leapt up, "Psyche!"

He avoided the second wave. The butlers were the third wave. They offered their service for shining shoes.

"Shall we spruce you up, sir?" They spoke calmly and boomingly.

"GET AWAY!" He cried out.

He jumped up and stood away from them. He then shouted, "Is that the best you got, Mikuru?"

Koizumi bowed, "Kyon-Kyon, shall I offer you tea?"

Yuki bowed, but without smiling, "Do you need a shoulder rub?"

Koizumi winked, and whispered, "Play along…"

_This is ridiculous… I have been assaulted by a wave of robots! It continued on. Koizumi and Nagato were the fourth wave. However, they let me slide. Good thing, too.  
>Fifth Wave – Maidens with bathing suits and scrub brushes, offering a bath. That was adverted, after saying that I already bathed. In the end, they were trying to plead for me to not go.<br>Sixth Wave – Butlers offer a lovely platter. Kicked them off their hands. I apologized after that.  
>Seventh Wave – They combined to wave to them and perform their cleaning services. That, too, ended with me, going past them.<em>

_Finally, the waves ended with me, confronting the Mikuru Maiden. She bowed and smiled, and suddenly grinned at me._

"Oh, Kyon-Kyon…" she smiled, "You made it this far. But… I know about you. You want me gone, after trying to hurt Haruhi."

"You hurt Haruhi, and you'll pay!"

"_You'll _pay! I overheard everything about you, since you reactivated Haruhi! I just want to adopt her as my sister, since she wished for this world."

"Too late! She's still in conflict, but she's turned off."

Haruhi appeared and cried, "NEW MIKURU!"

Kyon cried, "WHAT?"

Haruhi giggled, "I had some great skills. I knew where you were, and my GPS Mode was useful."

Actually, it was her circuits from the deceased Miko Model, the self-dependent Keiji Butler, and the free-willed Eri Model.

"Haruhi! I told you to-! Oh, wait… I forgot. Even as a Maiden for Hire, she's still Haruhi Suzumiya."

Mikuru smiled, "Is it because she's cute, perky, and energetic?"

Kyon sighed, "No. She gets bored, easily."

"Boredom?"

Haruhi bowed and said, "It's just… Well, I was so bored. I reactivated myself and went to find you. Luckily, my personality of a Maiden is trying to consume me. It took me minutes, but I managed to stop it."

_And also, I have now two hours left._

She then scolded, "New Mikuru, shame on you, making me an android! You should've asked me. And I would've said… NO!"

She bellowed, "NEW MIKURU, YOU'RE FIRED!"

She giggled, "From the SOS Brigade. And also, you're grounded! Stay at my home, for life!"

_Fired and grounded at the same day. What is she, a bossy mother?_

Mikuru Maiden growled, "No one fires me. At least I still work for Kyon-Kyon. Why is that?"

She shook her head, no, as she concluded, "Because I cannot serve to you, a Maiden for Hire. Besides, it's intolerable and disturbing… having a robot own another."

_It happened before, not too long ago (Koyomi: Maiden for Hire, Butler for Hire, and Maiden for Hire X). But they were legit._

Kyon then gasped, "You mean…"

Mikuru smiled, "Yes. I am your new Maiden for Hire, Kyon-Kyon. I am here for your guaranteed service. What do you say? Say the word and turn off Haruhi the Maiden."

Haruhi was grabbed by two Butlers and was approached to Kyon. He had a choice: _become the owner of Mikuru Maiden, and lose Haruhi Suzumiya forever… OR turn off Mikuru Maiden, saving Haruhi and everybody else. The choice was his._

_At first, I am in a bind. What should I do? But I have to think fast. Should I risk everything? If I agree to her "Terms of Service", I'll lose Haruhi, Koizumi, Nagato, Miss Asahina, and everybody. If I say no…_

"What if I say no?" He bellowed, "What would you do?"

Mikuru Maiden smirked, "Then, I'm afraid that I shall leave you _and _Haruhi, since my services had ended. I'm sorry, Kyon-Kyon. You have no choice."

_Kyon-Kyon… That's a name that will haunt me, in this world. It seems I have NO choice!_

* * *

><p><em><strong>01:29:56<br>**__I'm running out of time. I have to hurry and think, before I lose everything. Luckily, I had a plan, which will kill a few seconds._

* * *

><p><em><strong>To be continued…<strong>_


	7. Chapter 7

Haruhi was grabbed by two Butlers and was approached to Kyon. He had a choice: _become the owner of Mikuru Maiden, and lose Haruhi Suzumiya forever… OR turn off Mikuru Maiden, saving Haruhi and everybody else. The choice was his._

_At first, I am in a bind. What should I do? But I have to think fast. Should I risk everything? If I agree to her "Terms of Service", I'll lose Haruhi, Koizumi, Nagato, Miss Asahina, and everybody. If I say no…_

"What if I say no?" He bellowed, "What would you do?"

Mikuru Maiden smirked, "Then, I'm afraid that I shall leave you _and _Haruhi, since my services had ended. I'm sorry, Kyon-Kyon. You have no choice."

_Kyon-Kyon… That's a name that will haunt me, in this world. It seems I have NO choice!_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Ninety minutes left…<strong>_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 7<strong>_

* * *

><p>Kyon had a choice. What will he do? Mikuru Maiden grinned evilly, as Haruhi was in conflict. Kyon then shouted, "I… If I said no, it means Haruhi dies! But only because she is a robot forever!"<p>

Mikuru smiled, "I am your Maiden for Hire."

Kyon shouted, "But _you're _Haruhi's Maiden!"

She growled, "No… Not anymore. I was bought by her, and was made for her. But… I have you, since we made love. I love you, Kyon-Kyon."

Haruhi griped, "That's because YOU did it to her, Robo-Fetish!"

Kyon yelled, "YOU'RE LYING! She came onto me!"

He then sighed and thought, "This is it… I have no choice. I have forty-five minutes left… and we started to brag and fight!"

He then confronted Mikuru, and then huffed, "Mikuru… It seems I have no choice…"

He asked her, "Is this what you wanted? Do you want to date me for everything your heart's desire?"

She replied, "Yes. I am here for your guaranteed service. For my _Pleasure Mode, _I am going to break you, rotten. You see, I loved you… and how much you and I love. However, even if you are young, I find you very sexy. Now, come to me and agree to my services. You, Kyon-Kyon, make your choice. Approach me and touch me…"

She extended her chest and said, "Now… Hold me…"

Kyon then whispered to Haruhi, "I'm sorry… I have no choice."

He walked to Mikuru, as Haruhi sobbed, "No… Kyon-Kyon… I mean, Kyon…"

He approached her and asked, "You want to do it?"

Mikuru winked, "Yes. After all, you are a hot boy… and I shall do as you please… Master."

Kyon balled his fist and shouted, "How do I know that you are going to let Haruhi go?"

"She created me," she smiled, "After all, I was created by Miss Haruhi Suzumiya, in act of her wonderful skills."

Koizumi whispered, "It's obvious that she's lying. You better ask her again. Try to ask her about-."

"I got this…"

_I knew something was up. Sure, Haruhi created this world, but… Yes, Haruhi DID created her, since she's custom-made._

Kyon then smiled and said, "Mikuru… I believe you. Don't worry. I'll let you stay. But, you promise to let Haruhi live and give her her freedom, since you are her Maiden."

"Of course. EVERYBODY loves Haruhi. She created all of us."

They all cheered, "YES! WE ARE!"

Kyon smirked, "And she created you, like you are a custom model?"

Mikuru Maiden giggled, "Oh, you. We are all created by Haruhi Suzumiya. She is a Maiden Goddess. We are created to perfection."

She then started to grow suspicious, "Is _this _conversation going anywhere? It's almost like-. GASP! You want my secrets?"

She winked, "Oh, no. Only my creator, Haruhi Suzumiya, will help you."

"Haruhi created you?"

"Yes."

"And _ALL _Maidens and Butlers?"

"Yes."

Kyon made his decision and said, "Mikuru…"

He stepped back and said, "You… are such a broken doll. You are a liar."

"WHAT?" Mikuru shouted, "WHY? Haruhi created us! Haruhi created ALL Maidens for Hire!"

Kyon smiled, "Blame it on the Tsuruya Maiden. She blabbed about you, before I met up with Haruhi."

The Maiden gasped, as Kyon explained:  
><em>During my trip back to school, there was a Tsuruya Maiden that was servicing herself. She then winked, "Hello, Mister, I am Model #SM0K30 – Cherry Model (and NO I am not related to Cherry 2000). I am here for your service. Will there be anything you need?"<em>

_Kyon griped, "How many of them are there?"_

"_About 20,000 in populace. We are Maidens and Butlers, created to perfection."_

"_Who even created you?"_

"_Processing… Processing… DING! We are created, in this world, by Miss Haruhi Suzumiya. However, the very first Maidens and Butlers were created by Miss Koyomi Mizuhara and Miss Eri Sawachika."_

"_That's interesting."_

"_I know! Say, as long as you're here, shall I give you a complementary Maiden Rubdown?"_

"_UH, No… No, I'm good."_

"That was when the Cherry Model had very tight knowledge about the Maidens. At least they know that they are honest about the fellow robots. You, however, have NO idea about them."

One Butler giggled, "Hey, he's right."

The Mikuru Maiden snarled, "WHAT? I _AM _HARUHI'S MAIDEN!"

"Then _why _were you created by her? It's because you're a custom model. Sawachika and Mizuhara built you! All Haruhi did was make you, as it is."

Mikuru froze and shook, "ERROR! _Error… Malfunction… Malfunction… Mal-Mal-Mal…"_

Kyon rushed to behind her and pressed her button. Mikuru was deactivated. Koizumi smiled and said, "Good work. But, we must reactivate her."

_I did remember to spook her with a paradox, since she is obviously confused about her creators. But Koizumi was right. The timer stopped at about seventeen seconds. When I reactivated her, the number remained frozen. Mikuru Maiden was back to normal. Except…_

She shoved down Kyon and yelled, "YOU!"

She growled in anger, "You ruined Haruhi's dream and surprise! It's your fault, Kyon-Kyon! After everything that happened to you, I wanted to make it up! But…"

She then sparked in anger and spoke in a high-pitched voice, "If I cannot have Kyon-Kyon, Kyon-Kyon, Kyon-Kyon, Kyon-Kyon, Kyon-Kyon, Kyon-Kyon, Kyon-Kyon, Kyon-Kyon, Kyon-Kyon, Kyon-Kyon, Kyon-Kyon, Kyon-Kyon Kyon-Kyon Kyon-Kyon Kyon-Kyon Kyon-Kyon Kyon-Kyon Kyon-Kyon Kyon-Kyon Kyon-Kyon Kyon-Kyon Kyon-Kyon Kyon-Kyon Kyon-Kyon Kyon-Kyon Kyon-Kyon Kyon-Kyon Kyon-Kyon Kyon-Kyon…"

Nagato and Koizumi rushed in and grabbed Mikuru Maiden. Koizumi held her straight with his mind, as Nagato altered her circuits. Haruhi was shocked, by their actions. Of course, she didn't know it, since she thought that they were robots, too.

"WHOA! Unusual Maidens for Hire…" she said in astonishment.

Mikuru was stood straight, as Yuki spoke, "The circuits have been altered. She has been straightened out and completely reprogrammed. She was about to overheat and blow a fuse, but she was simply smoking from her vents."

Kyon said, "Good. It'll be not like before. Her back panel sprang open."

Haruhi sighed, "Nice. You Maiden and Butler Units are awesome."

Yuki said, "She does not know about us."

Koizumi said, "Seemed that our disguises worked."

Mikuru then grabbed Yuki, by the neck and threw her to the wall.

**SMASH!**

Nagato broke apart.

"NAGATO!" Kyon cried.

Nagato's head rolled to Kyon, as she beeped, "The Mikuru Maiden… was still… in her… Kyon-Kyon… phase…"

Her eyes clicked closed, as Mikuru Maiden growled and sparked.

"NO! NAGATO!" Koizumi cried, "YOU!"

She slapped off Koizumi, knocking her out.

He groaned, "Damn… Persistent robot… Nagato forgot to fry her circuits."

Kyon gasped, "And now you tell us?"

Mikuru beeped, as she was flailing, "Kyon-Kyon! Kyon-Kyon! Kyon-Kyon!"

Haruhi cried, "WAH! I don't want a Maiden for Hire, anymore! She's broken! Damn you, robots that look like Yuki and Koizumi!"

Kyon grabbed Haruhi and ran off, "Run, you fool!"

The Maidens blocked them, as one of them shouted, "NO! You broke our leader!"

Kyon snapped, "Geez, you guys! What happened? How can you guys listen to a robot that constantly malfunctions?"

A Butler spoke, "Well… Not all Maidens are perfect… as do Butlers."

Haruhi replied, "Well, maybe you listened to her reasons, all wrong."

They all agreed, but they did say that she was a leader. They obey her, since she knows everything about them.

"Oh? Then, who would you say that is the _original _Maiden for Hire?" Haruhi sneered.

A Maiden beeped, "_Model #86662426 – Tomo Model; later became Version 2.0_."

Haruhi asked, "And who created the Butlers for Hire?"

A Butler replied, "Eri Sawachika; her android double, Model #N1K1M781 – Eri Model, assisted her."

Haruhi was astonished, as she asked, "And how many cities manufactured the Maidens and Butlers?"

Cherry Maiden replied, "Approximately 24 and counting – Tokyo, Osaka, Kobe, Okinawa, Yagami, Sakura, Kawasaki, Nagoya, Nikko, Kyoto, Higashimurayama (_The birthplace_), Odaiba, Sapporo, Fukuoka, Hiroshima, Okayama, Yokohama, Wakayama, Nagano, Miyazaki, Kumamoto, Niigata, Chiba, and Saitama!"

Haruhi nodded, "Yep. They're right. I _did _read the Wiki about it, you know."

Kyon sighed, "Must be your electronic brain…"

"I was trying to know if they would learn from a genuine genius and _not _a malfunctioning idiot… savant."

"But those were simple!"

"No!" A Maiden beeped, "Those questions are always hard for many; even those who don't own a Maiden or Butler."

"Only Maidens can know about it. Us Butlers know, too." A Butler replied.

The Maidens then cheered, "Mikuru Model knows nothing about us!"

"Kyon-Kyon?" she gasped, "Kyon-Kyon!"

The Maidens shouted, "Down with the Maiden, Mikuru Model!"

The Butlers cried out, "She broke Nagato Model! That is a disgrace!"

_Remember? Keiji Model fried Eri Model, after she protected Tomo Model V2. THAT was a disgrace… also._

They charged at the Maiden and cried, "CHARGE!"

"Whoa… I guess in her world, they fight like an army," he thought.

Koizumi sparked and said, "Kyon… Get out now!"

Kyon cried, "What about you?"

"Sorry… But my circuits are shutting down. Please… Get out now. You saved this world, but I'm afraid it's not working."

"Well, there _must_ be a way!"

Koizumi smiled, "Well… That's… for… you to… know… Kyon-Kyon…"

He collapsed and was shut down. Haruhi grabbed him and said, "Kyon! Let's go! They sacrificed themselves for everything, just like the others."

_She was right. As I saw the Maidens and Butlers fight in a dog pile, they were being thrown around, trying to break free. Many robots were broken down. And the worst part was… Koizumi and Nagato are dead… or broken, in this case._

"COME ON! Kyon-Kyon!" She yelled, "We have to go!"

They ran off, as Kyon thought, "This is not right. I stopped the Maiden, but it's not returning to normal."

* * *

><p>But the entire building began to rumble. He cried, "It must be the end of the month, which means…"<p>

Haruhi shrieked, "WE'RE GONNA DIE!"

"No, I mean, what about your payment?"

They escaped the house, unharmed. But…

**CRASH!**

The building fell apart into rubble, as Kyon was shocked. He couldn't move, seeing the entire place destroyed.

"Well, all's well that ends well."

A huge piece of rubble flew down, about to hit Kyon.

He let out a scream, as it went closer. Haruhi cringed, "Kyon… I… I love you…"

She shoved him out of the way, "**KYON!**"

**CRASH!**

"HARUHI!"

**BONK!**

A piece of brick fell and smacked his head. He fell out cold.

_Stupid Haruhi-bot…_

His vision went black, as he saw Haruhi, on the ground, covered in ruins.

"No… I was… so… Unh… I… I'm…"

His vision went black.

* * *

><p>As Mikuru's building was reduced to debris, Haruhi woke up and saw Kyon, out cold and faced down, with blood on his head.<p>

She crawled toward him, very slowly, with only her lower half missing. Her arms were a bit scratched, and her face was still whole. The only thing destroyed was her lower half, in which her upper half leaked hydraulic fluid.

"Kyon… Kyon, I…" she growled, as her body was sparking, "I'm coming…"

She crawled, and finally got to him. He held herself up and placed her hand on her head. She then sobbed, knowing that Kyon died. He isn't. She just didn't know it.

"Kyon…" she wept, "I'm sorry… I, I, I, I... I forgive you for… everything. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have… gotten mad… at… you."

She went to his face and kissed him.

"Kyon… I… Love… You…"

She collapsed and sparked in a loop.

"Kyon… BZZT! Kyon… BZZT! Kyon… BZZT! Kyon… BZZT! Kyon… BZZT! Kyon… BZZT! Kyon… BZZT! Kyon…"

Haruhi was still in a loop, as Kyon was still out cold.

_As I was out cold, I heard her electronic voice, saying my name, continuously… Was I dead, or was I still alive? But… was this really the end? Mikuru's batteries have died, Nagato's dismantled __forcefully__, and Koizumi shorted out. What will happen to me?  
>Have I lost Haruhi forever? It didn't matter… but it was over for me… or was it?<em>

* * *

><p><em><strong>To be concluded…<strong>_

* * *

><p><em>You know what I am saying, but let's not spoil it… for Haruhi's sake.<em>

…

_I'm sorry… Haruhi Suzumiya…_


	8. Conclusion

"Kyon… Kyon… Hey, Kyon…"

A voice was made, as he woke up. His eyes opened and saw Haruhi, sitting by his side. He was on a bed, with a bandage on his head. He returned from the Maiden World that the Maiden Mikuru caused.

Haruhi smiled, "Had a good rest, Kyon?"

She was completely worried about him. Koizumi and Nagato were also there, from far away.

"Where am I?" He groaned, as he got up.

Haruhi said, "The nurse's office."

Koizumi said, "Haruhi found you outside. She left home and saw you on the sidewalk, all banged up. You got a welt on your face."

"It was all a nightmare!" He cried, "I was in a crazy world! And… You were there… but you were all destroyed."

Haruhi hugged Kyon and sobbed, "Don't ever leave me… I didn't want to lose you, like always. I'm sorry."

Koizumi asked her, "Miss Suzumiya, would you wait outside, please? I need to talk to him."

Haruhi nodded, "Right. I need some time to think." and left.

Koizumi remarked, "You went to a Maiden World, right?"

Kyon groaned, "I know… and everyone I knew were like it, like it was a land of robots. Some dream I had, huh?"

Nagato said, "It was no dream. It was all true, but everyone else have forgotten what happened that day, like it never happened."

Kyon groaned, "And _how long _was I out?"

Nagato responded, "All day."

Koizumi smiled, "Of course, for us, we knew about it, after we were reawakened. Miss Asahina was back to normal, as well. She told me to tell you that."

Kyon sighed, "What a relief. So, what about the Mikuru Maiden?"

"Miss Suzumiya will explain it to you, later. She had to step out for some time alone, but she told us that she's gone," Koizumi said.

Kyon asked, "Why is that?"

Nagato said, "It was the end of the month. She is now gone."

"Is _that_ what you mean?" Kyon asked.

Nagato said, "Yes, it _was_ what I mean."

_So, they explained to me that the Maiden World happened on the 28__th__ day of Mikuru Maiden's services; meaning that it was payment time. However, they told me that the Maiden was returned to the company. Haruhi gave her back, but she wanted to tell me about it, alone. I told them that it's fine, since they didn't want to know. Nagato just nodded and said to me that it will return to normal in days, just to break off of Haruhi's grief. Who would grieve over a Mikuru robot?_

Nagato beckoned to Koizumi. He turned to Kyon and winked, "Take care, buddy."

"Where are you going?"

"Oh, you know… Something private. You'll see."

They left, as Haruhi returned, a bit sad and worried.

"Where are _they _going?" She asked, knowing about Nagato and Koizumi.

"Don't ask," he sighed.

She sat by him and said, "Kyon… I'm so sorry. This whole mess was my fault. I should've never yelled at you."

Kyon asked, "There's a first. Why are you apologizing? I mean, you were the one who accused me of New Mikuru's lovemaking… or lack thereof!"

Haruhi said, "Yes… But… I found out… You see… Minutes before I was about to pay for Mikuru, and before I found you… Well, she told me that she was responsible for making out with you, behind my back. She couldn't hide her guilt, anymore. She also said that the Maidens are somewhat love-making, but they _are _honest. I was upset that I blamed her for it. However, she insisted on leaving, but I told her that I have to return you, just for maintenance. Besides, it was fun to have New Mikuru for a long time… But then…"

_She told me that New Mikuru was due for dismantling from the company. It turns out that she was defective. Her test-run was rushed, before she was delivered. By the way, she was made and manufactured in Saitama, a "Maidens for Hire Branch" in Japan. She was turned off, just for pick-up, and Haruhi ran off, leaving her Maiden behind, just to find me. Here's what happened:_

* * *

><p><em>It happened on day 27, minutes before Haruhi was getting ready for bed.<em>

_The Maiden then blushed and hugged her, "I'm so glad that you came to me. I won't be a burden, since Kyon-Kyon was bad."_

_They slept together, as Haruhi yawned, "Ahh… Maidens… I want to be one, one day… Maybe I'll ask to make one… of… me…"_

_She yawned, moaned, and sighed. She fell asleep, after that. But suddenly, Haruhi started to cry a bit, before she went to sleep mode._

"_Kyon… why… did I yell… at him?" she sobbed, "Kyon… I wanted you… to enjoy it…"_

_She let out a tear, as Mikuru said, "Poor Haruhi… She must've felt bad for Kyon-Kyon. I'm so sorry… Haru-."_

_Her eyes clicked closed, before she would finish._

* * *

><p><em>The next morning, the Maiden then said, "Miss Haruhi… There's something I should tell you…"<em>

_She confessed about Kyon. She sobbed, as Haruhi was scowling at her._

"_And you KNEW, and I blamed Kyon for what YOU DID?" She yelled._

"_I'm sorry…" Mikuru pleaded._

_Haruhi smiled, "Oh, well… Better him, and not me. But why would you do that?"_

"_Because!" She yelled, "MY Pleasure Mode is currently gnawing for love. But you… You still acted like a bratty pervert, squishing my breasts, a lot! I'm not an L-Series Maiden, you know."_

"_Well, you reminded me of Old Mikuru."_

"_I know… But… Now, I feel guilty, only because I cannot have someone like Kyon-Kyon to take me away from you. Of course, it is such a pain…"_

"_I know. But, seriously, I'd never let you go through that. Kyon broke his promise, but it was because YOU did it. You understand, right?"_

"_I see…"_

_She hugged Mikuru and said, "I really didn't mean to let Kyon do it, but I wish I would've reverse time and make you HIS Maiden. But, now… before I pay your services… I want to… Well, since I'm not 18, how about our first kiss together? I think I am ready… just for you."_

_Mikuru blushed, "Oh, wow! You mean it? I mean, I can live with that, since kissing is allow, only for users, under 18, that want young adult love. Likely, it always a waiter…"_

_Haruhi smiled and blushed, as she gave her 2,500 Yen for her services, "For you. What do you say?"_

_They kissed and held each other tight. They continued to kiss, until the phone rang. She stopped and went to the phone. It was from Saitama's Branch._

"_Hello? Who? Oh, you mean my custom-made Mikuru Maiden? Yes. I was wondering if you could fix her. It's on me, faithful employees!"_

_She then heard the news about the robot. She was defective. She also told her to give her the phone._

"_It's for you."_

_She answered it and heard about it. She then blushed and sobbed. She nodded and said, "I understand. Thank you, Miss West."_

_She hung up and said, "Well… It's my boss, Hanako West, from Tokyo's branch."_

_She bowed and announced, "By order of her duties, your services with me are hereby null and void."_

"_WHAT? But New Mikuru… We haven't finished!"_

"_I know… But, you see… I have caused you so much hurt, especially Kyon-Kyon. I'm being called away… about to be torn apart. I'm going to leave you now."_

_Haruhi cried, "NO! NO, don't leave me!"_

_Mikuru wept tears from her eyes and said, "Haruhi Suzumiya… I thank you for my services in Maidens for Hire. For now, I am no longer of your services. But before I go, Miss West gave me the order."_

_She turned around and said, "Please turn me off. The Saitama Company will pick me up, this afternoon. Also, your 5,000 Yen shall be refunded, along with the 100 Yen for replacement parts."_

_Haruhi sobbed, "No… What should I do now?"_

_Mikuru said, "Maybe… Maybe it's up to you. Keep me, or make amends with Kyon-Kyon."_

_Haruhi stated, "First, I'll apologize to him, for blaming everything on you. Second, I'll never buy a Maiden for Hire again, just because of a user letting a Maiden kiss a non-user."_

"_THAT won't be necessary. You see, if my services were finished, __**legitimately**__, my entire program's history will be erased, only for other Maidens and Butler to follow the DO's and DON'T's. Of course, you'll never see me again, since my circuits are… are… are…"_

_She bowed down and flailed._

_Rebooting…_

_She stood up and continued, "…are all messed-up, untested, and completely rushed. Please don't be mad."_

_Haruhi then said, "I see…"_

_Mikuru then smiled, "The apology… I can let you do. But YOU tell him. Also, tell him I said goodbye… and I'm sorry for everything."_

_Haruhi agreed and requested, "Uh, one thing… Can I… uh, well…?"_

_Mikuru extended her chest and said, "Sure. But not too hard…"_

_Haruhi clamped her breast and Mikuru Maiden started to moan. Haruhi smirked, "I'll miss this, but not the pain…"_

_She clamped BOTH breasts, but Mikuru Maiden chopped her head, knocking her out._

"_When I said you may enjoy me, I DID say not too hard!" She yelled._

_Haruhi groaned in pain, "I got carried away again…"_

_She got up and said, "I'll miss you… New Mikuru… I'm sorry that my services had ended prematurely."_

"_Oh, it wasn't the first time that happened."_

_She thought, remembering Eri Model, "I wonder whatever happened to her… I hear that she disappeared, long ago, from Tomo Maiden V2, during a Chat Party."_

* * *

><p><em><strong>M4H Disclaimer: <strong>__Since the success of the Butler for Hire, Tomo Maiden's Chat Mode was fully fixed, but she usually glitches. Since then, newer Maidens, or older models, tend to speak to older executive models, like Tomo Model (working as a Maiden __and__ Supervisor), Eri Model (who disappeared, apparently), and Yakumo Model (who is retired, working in Odaiba Branch, as Supervisor). This mode is suitable for Maidens who want to learn from experts, but rarely occur, since the Maidens and Butlers offer guaranteed service, on a grand tenure._

* * *

><p><em>Haruhi then held Mikuru Maiden tight and whispered, "I'll always remember you… New Mikuru…"<em>

_They kissed again, as they make out, in a long matter. As Mikuru clamped her hip, Haruhi thought, "Oh, frisky. Not TOO frisky, of course. A few more minutes, and I'll leave to find Kyon."_

_After that, which took about ten minutes of kissing and fondling, Mikuru was turned off and was placed by the doorstep of Haruhi's house, waiting for delivery. She was marked "Return to company - Defective". And as she left, Haruhi ran to school, just to find Kyon. Only to find him on the ground, out like a light._

* * *

><p><em>No one knew how I got here, but Haruhi's words were deep. But I didn't get it. She was mean, but it's like, after being in the Maiden World, she was a changed robot.<em>

Haruhi blushed, "I hope you feel better. I made a terrible mistake. You see, one of the reasons I departed with Mikuru Maiden was that her saliva was disgusting on my feet. Tell anyone about it, and I'll cream you!"

Kyon smiled, "Your secret's safe with me; though, science has ways of simulating human traits and actions."

Haruhi scoffed, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Kyon sighed, "Nothing… Just don't get tense, or you'd malfunction, like in my dream…"

"Huh?"

"Never mind. You wouldn't understand. You'd shot off and yell and me, like that."

"Why would you say that? You know that I'm not a robot… that or some pop idol with shoddy attire."

"Like I said… You wouldn't believe me."

She giggled and said, "Well, anyway… I'll come back, after school, and see how you're doing."

She then said, as she looked sad, "Kyon. About what happened, the other night, I really shouldn't have yelled at and hit you. I guess maybe I shouldn't have asked you to hold on to Mikuru Maiden…"

Kyon said, "Hey, don't be upset. She's gone, and that's all that matters. What happened back there was a great moment. You had fun with your New Mikuru, only to reveal that she has caused a rift in the SOS Brigade; that, and, possibly, she was defective. I know in your heart that Mikuru liked you."

Haruhi muttered, "Like you would know."

Kyon remarked, "Just don't let her departure ruin you. I know Haruhi Suzumiya… and she knows that she'll try again soon, one day."

"Nah. After what went through with New Mikuru, I'm not taking that chance. I'm done with Maidens for Hire, for a long time. From now on, I'll wait, until I am ready to try again. Besides, I'll have me a Butler of you, when I live on my own!"

She winked, as Kyon gasped, "Uh… Haruhi…"

Haruhi smiled, as she left, "I'm kidding. Besides, I'm not ready for automation; especially the human-shaped kind. It's creepy…"

_Luckily, she doesn't know that Nagato is a machine… But, we're not so sure about her, yet…_

She concluded, "Well, be rested up soon, _Kyon-Kyon_! Hah, hah! I'm gonna go find Mikuru and apologize to her."

Kyon remarked, "Well… I wouldn't be so sure. If you want to apologize to someone, it's just me. She _has _been jealous of you."

Haruhi then snickered, "Aw, you're sweet. In fact, _you _tell her!"

"Me?"

"Yes, you! I'm giving you an order. Tomorrow, when you see her, after you're healed, tell her that New Mikuru is gone… and we're hoping we'll be back to normal. She'd come to you, _personally, _but she has an after school study session with Tsuruya."

"And?"

"That's it. Maybe you could tell me what kind of dream you had, when you said I was malfunctioning… you robo-fetish, you."

"Haruhi!" He growled, as she laughed, and pranced away. She stopped by the doorway, in a bit of sadness.

"By the way…" she whispered, "Thank you… It was fun for you to care for me."

Kyon asked, "Huh? Why?"

She blushed, and then huffed, "Uh… Never mind!"

She stormed off, as Kyon rested.

_Well, I NO LONGER have to worry about Maidens and Butlers, for a while. I'm just glad that everything is as it should be. I hope Haruhi will never forget her.  
>In the end, a crazy day ended with a crazier Robot Mikuru Asahina, gone from this world and our lives, in one of the craziest days that I ever occurred. Haruhi never forgotten about it, but she'll get over it. I wonder if she'll remember the kiss she gave me, if I knew about it. Of course, I can't sugarcoat it to her. Then what kind of person I'd be?<em>

Kyon sighed again, "Oh, brother…" and then smiled.

* * *

><p>Haruhi walked home, holding up a picture of her and Mikuru Robot, in their bunny costumes. She then blushed, "Kyon-Kyon… What a joke…"<p>

She laughed a bit and went to class.

By the way…

_Haruhi was by Kyon's bed, as he was out cold. She let out a smile and said, "I'm sorry… Please wake up soon, Kyon."_

_She then kissed him on the lips for ten seconds._

Haruhi didn't want to tell him that she kissed him. That would be a field day.

"It's my secret to you…" she whispered, as she shed a tear, "You said my name, in moans… and was worried about me."

She then griped, "But I ain't like that, you know! You just ain't my type!"

She smiled, "But one day, I hope soon…"

She stuck her tongue out and winked, "Kyon-Kyon, I'll be waiting!"

Things got back to normal, after that.

* * *

><p><em><strong>The End<strong>_

* * *

><p>The following afternoon, Yuki then said to Koizumi, "Pay up…"<p>

"What for?" He asked.

Yuki explained, "Miss Suzumiya lasted about one month, exactly. You said, last month, that she may last longer. Pay up."

He sighed, "Well, okay…"

Yuki Nagato got her bet and won… a cinnamon bread roll?

She munched on it, "Yum…"

Koizumi sighed, as he broke the 4th wall, "Seems like another genre in this epilogue."

He shrugged his shoulders and smiled.

_Reminds you of "Haruhi-Chan", huh?_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thanks for reading!<strong>_


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